Hi guys! Wish you all a Happy New year. With New year comes the question of constantly reinventing oneself and I decided to experiment by collaborating on a fictional story with Prason - Humor blogger and CFO of the soora mokkai blog - Chronicwriter . You can check out the blog Here , it is a damn chill blog actually and you can thank me later for introducing this kind of awesomeness in your life. So what Prason and I have done is essentially snowball a story from scratch. He writes a line and then I write one spontaneously making it all up and having tonnes of fun in the process. Hope you have as much fun reading it as we had making it.
Disclaimer - The post contains liberal doses of tanglish.
Prason
Prashanth was frantically searching for his
laptop.
It was right here inside my backpack. And now it's not. The backpack zip is open
and my favourite key-chain that was fixed with the zip is missing .
My hands instinctively reached for my Jean
zip and I was relieved to know that they were all in the right place.
Someone had definitely stolen my lap top.
It definitely cannot be my mom. She already has a mac.
My backpack was under the bed; and hence it
cannot be the maid too because she does not even clean anything under the bed.
It cannot be my girlfriend because well I
don't have one and it cannot be my boyfriend too because I am not gay.
Yen ipdi mokka potu saavadikiraenaa,
technically and basically I'm an IT guy and this is all I have in my life. As I
am an IT guy, I do have a photography page and all my pictures are in my
laptop. And oh my yesunadha! I just realized there are damning pictures of me
trying out my nandu brand lungis
Well, I am kidding; there’s more than just
my nandu brand mishaps. There is a floor plan of my office which I am going to
rob day after tomorrow.
There are three other people in my team and
I hate one of them. It cannot be Surya because he only recruited me. Or could
this be his masterplan all along? It could be because we both like the same
girl – “Smitha” from our team. Trust me when I say Smitha is worth sending
someone to jail. Her eyes! They make my heart beat so fast that if I let it
out, it can out run Ussain Bolt and create a new world record in the 100 metre
dash.
Her voice makes chinna kuyil chitra sound
like kovai Sarala. So I never tell her to sing. I never tell her anything
actually. But I do talk a lot with Pooja, the other girl in our team. Surya
hated it when ever I talked with Pooja or Smitha.
Why did I agree to the stupid robbery plan?
I thought it was a stupid joke of course till it was not and by then I had
already revealed too much to Pooja. I think she hated me because I liked Smitha
and maybe she was the one who flicked the laptop?
My thoughts are jumping so wildly today. I
shouldn't have probably had all the free filter kaapi shots. I guess Surya
drugged me with those kaapi; he was too friendly with me. I am sure Pooja and
Surya are together on this.
I try to call them with my phone. Alas! My
phone is also missing. I had last seen it in my back pocket. What the fruit is
happening guys?
All I have is this one Rupee coin. I have
no other option but to invest this coin and become a millionaire. And for that
I need to leave this damned room. And this is when I realize that the door is
locked. Not the sharpest day for the 10th topper today.
Well I gotta pee now. My bladder is full
and time is ticking too. I have used all my karate and yoga skills to control
this tsunami attack. But aathratha adakkalaam. But moothratha kandippa control
panna mudiyaadhu. Let me unload eshwaraaa! I wake up in a pool of sweat from my
bed and I look under the bed immediately. I can see my laptop peeping through
the backpack.
So Sundays are the best since it gives us the much needed time to be
our lazy potato-selves. And on what other day can I throw my random-est
thoughts at you guys without shaping them professionally?
What I am going to do is casually throw
some ideas at y’all and if it is worthy of discussion we can make a full
fledged post.
1)
Surveillance
is BAD. Then why track our Swiggy* guys? All of us hate it when our school installed
surveillance cameras in the corridors or when they were introduced them in our
workplaces. It is not a good feeling to have the Big Brother watching you , even
if it is just a fat security guard bhaiya** who is never going to look at you.
I’m sure you will have the same reaction if your employer attaches a GPS
tracker on you. While it certainly gives
a sense of comfort to know where your food parcel is every minute of the day ,
isn’t it invading the delivery guy’s workplace privacy to track him every
second? If they give a timeframe of 30 minutes and deliver it within that span
, does it matter if he stopped for Chai^ in between? In fact , swiggy doesn’t
give time based guarantee because we can see when their delivery guys are stuck
in traffic. Isn’t it better to not know and demand free food? Food for thought.
See what I did there?
*Indian based
food app delivery service **brother ^Tea <3
2)
Isn’t
alarming and annoying that advertisements load quicker than any video? It means
they are giving us crappy service when they can do better. Always hate that
when that happens. The guy who makes food in our hostel mess used to make
awesome Sunday lunches and be crappy rest of the week. The reason he gave was “
You will appreciate my good work when you taste bad food , if I give you good
food throughout the week , you will not appreciate my food so much” Underwhelm to Overwhelm is a very
important mantra folks. In fact Conversations with God , the much acclaimed
book basically keeps repeating this throughout by saying how you know God only
when you know Evil. Glad to know that the world runs on such lofty ideals.
3)
Do
online debates ever solve anything? Every one is just trying to look smart ,
witty and sling mud at each other. Instead of having constructive discussions
people correct each other’s grammar and call each other bhakts and presstitutes
and feminazis and libtards. No one ever comes around to another’s point of view
nor to they even concede a single error when it is blatantly obvious they are
wrong. This is why there needs to be rule and orders to discussions. And Arnab
Goswami. Just Kidding. But we do need mediators.
4)Love
trumps hate?
5)Does
anyone else google their dreams? Today I had a giant ant bite in my dream , I
hope it is something not life altering. If you do interpret your dreams online
try non Freudian ones. Else save yourself a search – it is definitely something
sexual or traumatic from your childhood.
First of all , it feels GREAT to write in this draftboard again ^_^ ........and there was a mini break of 6 hours due to 2 ipl matches. This has been the story of my poor blog for a few months now. Board preparations , board itself (40 days *yawns*) and now ipl , clat preparations ( soon to be started :P ) and the overwhelming urges to read a book , go party or watch a movie. .....and there again. I got distracted by facebook and its insane amount of memes. Second of all, I would really thank all the readers who were patient for these few months and for increasing my page views even when there were no new posts :P I love you guys :* I shall dedicate my upcoming 50,000 views to you all. And now time to pen up. Forgive me if i'm a bit scratchy for this is my first post in months.
Board examinations are always a pain , that too especially if they extend over 40 days for 5 exams. So on April ninth, two thousand and thirteen when the cursed exams did get over , I felt that the world was my cricket ball ( because football is too mainstream) and decided to goto this 'comedy film' called settai. The thing which quirked me was the synopsis - The remake of the 'A' certified Delhi Belly which has been made into a 'clean' family entertainer and has managed to get a 'U' certificate. The director was also quiet proud when he said it. So BELIEVING him I took my whole family plus two people to the movie.
Two puked pop corns and countless crass jokes later I had to face my annoyed family sheepishly . Although my brother did love it! ( well , he starts laughing if you say S**t) My problem with the movie wasn't that it had innumerable unfunny yet disgusting 'jokes' or that it didn't have even a wafer thin plot but that it got an U certificate. What were the makers thinking when they thought they could remake this into a family friendly affair?
Oh god . In the pursuit of writing something , I am just becoming one of innumerable rant-about-my-life bloggers. So no more negative energy. Instead, I am going tell you about movies which are funny and have some story and 'acting' ( the only person who acted in this movie was the comedy super star) in it.
Why this move towards indigenous regional movies you might ask. Well the answer is :
a) I love them
b) If review raja is proud of my culture , it is time that I am .
c) Tamil cinema does have a flourishing heritage of comedy actors and films.
So here is my second 'trendistan' list. Tamil comedy movies which you shouldn't miss ( which are at least better investments of your time and money than settai)
3. Boss (a) Baskaran - Almost the exact cast as settai but 100000000 times funnier. For a change , Arya acted and Santhanam was at his epicest . The story is about Baskar aka boss , a good for nothing wastrel who still hasn't even passed his twelfth examinations and falls in love with his sister in law's sister - who is an english teacher! Boss is insulted by his whole family when he expresses his wish to marry her and is out there to prove a point. Watch him run a tutorial successfully and sort out the messes which occur after that. The movie was hilarious for only one reason: santhanam! He comes as Arya's barber friend who signs the collateral for the hero's loan. The movie has made some phrases like 'nanbenda' ( friend dude :P ) and 'vida muyarchi vishwaroopa vetri' (persistent hard work , monumental victory) popular. Don't miss one of the funniest films to have come out of the tamil industry in recent times.
2.Michael Madana kamarajan - Everyone knows kamal as an experimental actor who keeps pushing boundaries. Another thing everyone knows about him is that there is always some humor element in his films. So much so that , people have criticized his magnum opus 'dasavatharam' (where he plays 10 roles) for treating such heavy content too lightly. While his recent movies like 'Panchatantiram' 'pammal k sambandham' 'vasool raja MBBS' are more popular for being funny , his most hilarious film (according to me ) is mmkr. Released at a time when double action itself was difficult , he pulled off 4 roles with elan.
The story is about quadruplets who get separated at birth. One is raised by his father himself as an adopted son and is a stylish multimillionaire with a giant like bodyguard (bheem boy) and the catch phrase ' catch my point' He is Madan. Michael is brought up by a thief and is hired to kill madan. Next is Raju , who is our hilarious 'low class' firefighter who romances khushboo and becomes Madan's best friend. Finally we have our tam brahm - Kamu who is a cook , who marries 'thiruputasundari' and is roped in to impersonate madhan. The climax on the wooden house up the mountain is one of the best endings I've watched in my life/
Don't miss this one!
1.Thillu Mullu - What can top a Kamal comedy film? A Rajini one of course! xD ( that too with a kamal cameo in the end!) This film directed by the great Balachander makes you laugh every time you watch it. It has been remade in hindi by the name 'Bol Bachchan' which has crossed 100 crores. Still people rightly argue that the original was 5486431 times better. Rajini plays the role of 'ayyampettai arivudainambi kaliyaperumal chandran' who is a rebel by nature but acts all innocent to woo his very conservative and patriotic boss ( acted stunningly be thengai srinivasan) Now what happens when chandran falls in love with his boss's daughter? He loses his mustache and becomes his twin brother Indran of course ;) Don't you miss this marathon of comic escapades , lies and situations .
Special mention :
Vadivelu in winner - ever heard of the word one man army? Vadivelu's role basically uplifted a common masala film into a super hit entertainer .
Now there we go , I've written a post. Hope I shell out more int the future and I promise you better quality next time around. Till then keep yourselves entertained with these movies xD
Know what else is hilarious?
Gordon Ramsay memes ------> Here.
