The lines we crossed

Clenching till
My molar broke
And puss pour
Still biting down the pain
Of the secrets of yesterday

A peerless phantom
An invisible limp
The line you cross to know me

She shrugged.
A sardonic hmph
Was what my secret amounted to.

Felt relieved & reviled simultaneously somehow!
What now?

Modern Kindness

What is it to be kind ,

In this mocking (modern) 

Day and age?

To smile at a stranger 

Give them the heeby jeebies 😬

Be a loyal friend 

Who money can’t amend

To trust in humanity 

And better side of this 

Cunning(human) populace?

To just be decent 

With no strings attached .

To be good 

To more than just your blood.

And to do all this

Even when no one is really watching.

(I think I can’t come up with a better picture for this poem. Two of the kindest souls 😚)

Okay my kindness quota for the year is over 😂

Happy sunday!

So Sundays are the best  since it gives us the much needed time to be our lazy potato-selves. And on what other day can I throw my random-est thoughts at you guys without shaping them professionally?

What I am going to do is casually throw some ideas at y’all and if it is worthy of discussion we can make a full fledged post.

1)     

    Surveillance is BAD. Then why track our Swiggy* guys?  All of us hate it when our school installed surveillance cameras in the corridors or when they were introduced them in our workplaces. It is not a good feeling to have the Big Brother watching you , even if it is just a fat security guard bhaiya** who is never going to look at you. I’m sure you will have the same reaction if your employer attaches a GPS tracker on you.  While it certainly gives a sense of comfort to know where your food parcel is every minute of the day , isn’t it invading the delivery guy’s workplace privacy to track him every second? If they give a timeframe of 30 minutes and deliver it within that span , does it matter if he stopped for Chai^ in between? In fact , swiggy doesn’t give time based guarantee because we can see when their delivery guys are stuck in traffic. Isn’t it better to not know and demand free food? Food for thought. See what I did there?

*Indian based food app delivery service **brother ^Tea <3

2)    

  Isn’t alarming and annoying that advertisements load quicker than any video? It means they are giving us crappy service when they can do better. Always hate that when that happens. The guy who makes food in our hostel mess used to make awesome Sunday lunches and be crappy rest of the week. The reason he gave was “ You will appreciate my good work when you taste bad food , if I give you good food throughout the week , you will not appreciate my food so much” Underwhelm to Overwhelm is a very important mantra folks. In fact Conversations with God , the much acclaimed book basically keeps repeating this throughout by saying how you know God only when you know Evil. Glad to know that the world runs on such lofty ideals.

3)   

Do online debates ever solve anything? Every one is just trying to look smart , witty and sling mud at each other. Instead of having constructive discussions people correct each other’s grammar and call each other bhakts and presstitutes and feminazis and libtards. No one ever comes around to another’s point of view nor to they even concede a single error when it is blatantly obvious they are wrong. This is why there needs to be rule and orders to discussions. And Arnab Goswami. Just Kidding. But we do need mediators.

4)      Love trumps hate?

5)      Does anyone else google their dreams? Today I had a giant ant bite in my dream , I hope it is something not life altering. If you do interpret your dreams online try non Freudian ones. Else save yourself a search – it is definitely something sexual or traumatic from your childhood.

On that creepy note , I decide to leave you all.

Actually , google your dreams. It’s pretty fun.

Happy Sunday!

Divided we fall

Hi there. So it has taken me longer than usual to get the blog rolling this year. Starting the year with an old unpublished poem which fits the theme of unity :) Would absolutely love all feedback! So comment away.

A conjoined twin trying to escape another

Grunting in exertion and effort

As his flesh binds him to another

But not his spirit

A group of people deciding

What is best for themselves

And propagandising it as

What is best for those who they represent

And changing the contours of history

And geographical boundaries

By coercion and threat.

A group of disadvantaged people

Who are sick of the current system

And want to create their own system

To grow sick of.

The prince who abandoned his title

Subjects , wife and children

In the name of enlightenment.

Are all seceding. 

Physically

Politically and

Morally

But is anyone really succeeding? 

Written for Poet united's midweek motif  'unity'. 

Feminazi?

www.ananasa.com image taken from

5 things I want from India as a woman living here.

1)      Stop getting raped. Like immediately please.

2)      To be able to buy a smoke without having to address the shopkeeper’s eyeballs which are way outside his sockets. And to be able to smoke it, like the million guys puffing right next to me. * Not endorsing smoking as a habit in any way. It is a deadly menace. But if men can read disclaimers, why can’t we? *

3)      To be able to enter TASMAC / liquor shops without any insinuations about my character thrown at me.

4)      To be able to stand in the road and speak to my male friend without a police officer shooing us away because it is the ‘night’ time. We can control ourselves and it is clearly none of his problem either ways. And wear whatever makes me comfortable.

5)      For people to realize that doing 2 , 3 ,4 is in NO ways related to 1.

I have been observing social media posts for a while now. While there seemed to be a consensus ‘innocent’ girls should never be raped , there seems to be an ambiguous grey area when it came to the ‘liberal feminazis’ who are asking for it. Let me tell you this , NO ONE is asking for it and wanted to write a blunt and unpretentious post which puts my views as clearly as possible on this topic.

And for once , I don’t want to debate. I don’t want to argue with someone on whether the behaviour of a victim was the cause of a rape or whether a girl ‘can’ smoke or drink like a guy.

THESE ARE FUNDAMENTALS WHICH I THOUGHT GOT COVERED IN THE ERA OF DRAFTING THE CONSTITUTION. IT FEELS LIKE TRYING TO TALK ABOUT SLAVERY.

But again that’s the sad state of affairs. Only times I regret democracy is when we have groups who can espouse such B.S under the garb of right to speech. But again , Benevolent Dictators are a very rare species.

For the last time , 

• A girl who has boy  "bad" habits is not a 'bad girl' 
• It is not cool to use NAZI on concepts you don't understand . Mass genocide shouldn't be easily made equatable to mundane activities
• NO ONE ( see how I'm gender neutral here) should be raped and there is no 'excuse' for rape ( certainly no your rapist son's promising swimming career) 

* when you think some things are basic like A , B , C and you realise most of the populace is dyslexic or just too stubborn to learn* 

The Moral Unicorn

So I started watching breaking bad . All my shows were on a hiatus and it was to time to ride this bandwagon out.  I am on the second season of the episode after trying to watch it for like 2 weeks. This proves

a)      I am finally growing up , working more and slowing down on the number of episodes I’m watching.

b)      The show is boring.

While it does show the evolution of a boring chemistry teacher who suddenly facing imminent death after contracting cancer ( he should have contracted a midlife crisis if you ask me) to a full blown drug dealer  to earn money for his family.

I find it incredibly stupid that the show glorifies the production and distribution and cooking of meth when the protagonist clearly had a chance to borrow money from his family and friends. But then , there would be no show – no drugs , blood or pee shots (which the director really loves for some reason)

I want to sound cool and say stuff like ‘ I’m the one who knocks’ ( I’m yet to see all that ) and maybe I’m prematurely giving up on the show. But , how are you supposed to root for someone who lies to everyone around him (who he supposedly loves) and kills people to assert that he is a drug lord?! We’re supposed to feel bad for him because he has cancer, but not the 3-4 he has already killed in the short span of the show. There is simply no justification for his crimes. Dexter Morgan , the serial killer at least had a past. Walter White is simply a greedy man who couldn’t deal the hand, life gave him, in a scrupulous way.

I know it is all just fiction and the show does show the downside of the drug life and all. But everytime someone says ‘Heisenberg’ with admiration or ‘ I’m the one who knocks’ it causes mental pain which I am simply registering here.

The show does evoke a point of interest in me though – consisting of moral turmoil. Where do you draw the line of what is wrong or what is right?

What makes you draw the line?

What the law dictates or what helps you sleep at time?

the laxman rekha :P

I think every person has to and does come up with this laxman rekha by himself. Being a law student , I know that there is scant regard paid to laws in this country. The culture , community or interest group of a person build his moral compass more often than not. But nothing shapes a mind like personal experience and attitudes.

For example , I think adultery which is a criminal offence according the Indian penal code is a personal choice which should end a marriage but not put you in jail.

But , for a person whose parent or spouse indulged in one the attitude might be very different.

More often than not , only when you are in a rough predicament , you know what you real feelings towards a subject are. There is a fundamental gap between who we think we are and the decisions we take and a mode of self preservation shoves this cognitive dissonance to the fore.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I do not like cheating when I attempted a competition recently. I always prided myself of being morally fluid and ‘ cool’ taxonomies like that. However when the beat dropped and my moment came , I didn’t want to take the shortcut to success. How do you enjoy the fruits of your labour when you didn’t work the farm? I asked myself. I am aware that feeling morally superior is also a certain kind of rush.

We’re living in a world where pesticides and fertilizers have become a norm and ‘organic’ vegetables have become an exception.

When we learn professional ethics , our teacher reads the value we have to study for the exam and then goes on to explain how it is useless in everyday life. Being ‘good’ is increasingly being looked down upon . People with morals are being looked at as unicorns and hardwork and genuine knowledge is overlooked for shallow grades and ‘street smartness’ which roughly translates to being a thug.

How to do a task without getting your hands dirty? Is my question of the month to you guys. How to prosper in a world where pulling someone down seems easier than climbing up?

That is why breaking bad scares me. How can killing and cooking meth be cool things? Are we all fundamentally good or bad? Is self preservation or fundamental goodness the characteristic of a mind?

Even in Indian films being selfish or being a criminal is being promoted nowadays over being a good human being who helps others. It is not a question of breaking the law but doing a wrong – hurting another individual. Am I the only unicorn out here? Or are there more of us just scared to voice out , in the fear of being looked down upon?

Please speak up in the comments column