Labyrinths

 

For PSU's Prompt - Ordinary. 

Is there anything more humane?

Than a man mourning the mundane

Yet finding comfort in routine

Quite routinely I must say.

 

Wanting to reach for the stars

From earth his leg goes far

Is there a more humbling force than gravity?

The elegant equalizer

Electromagnetically pulls into  

A simpler direction –

Inward.

 

The outer pieces of the puzzle

Are easier to solve

But as we move inward

We find in ourselves

 the good shepherd

Giving out the true reward –

The meaning of it all.

 

You would be amazed

To know

What you thought was a maze

Was just a craze

Caused by your dire daze

Only within the ordinary

You would find Life’s dictionary.

Breathe

Completed 12 years of blogging last week :) 

As Shattered promises of tomorrow

Splattered all over my bedroom

I pulled out my pipe

Decided to exhale smoke

Rather than inhale hubris

for a change.

And listened to the tunes of yesterday

Since history is doomed to repeat itself

Maybe this once

it will bloom by itself.

Any which way

I am not going anywhere

I have nowhere to be

Except be me in this moment

Right now.

And inhale in all the terrible glory

Exhale all the grime and gory

Soaking in the momentousness of surviving today.

Ludo Queen

So in lieu of my recent continued obsession with the game ‘Ludo King’, I have come to the conclusion that life is very similar to a game of  Ludo. Most people think it is the oversimplistic Snakes and ladders and a few would like to think that it is a complicated game of chess. The fact is that while in Snakes and Ladders we have ZERO control of the game and we are essentially leaving it to chance , in chess we are the masters of our own destiny. Neither situation really reflects life as it is.

 

Life like I said is a game of Ludo. It is the culmination of a seemingly predictable algorithm coupled with pure roll of the dice and strategic movement of your tokens. There are 2 ways to play it – either aggressively look to take out your opponent’s tokens to move forward or play the safe game and focus on the moves which will lead you to not be killed. It is fight or flee all over again. But again it is a question of responding to what the situation demands of you. Sometimes if you chicken out of taking the token which is right in front of you , others might start attacking you thinking you are a weakling . Or sometimes, while all your tokens are in the safe zone guarded by luck you might get cocky and try to grab what is not yours and end up back in square one.

 

So don’t be a cock or a chicken. Be your own wonderful self! Trust your instinct always. The gut always seems to process past defeats in a better fashion than your logical brain .

Earn your coins , enjoy the journey however tumultuous it gets. If all your tokens are back in the hut , don’t give up automatically. Atleast in the algorithm based universe perseverance has a price. Remember, giving up never has no upside! Also remember that this is just some elaborate game and it makes no sense to take it so seriously. Death might just be the end of a simulation for all we know. Okay. I am going to stop typing now :P

 

(365 words)

Karpagam gardens

So , I went on a walk today.

Roads which  once bustled with robust activity

The Covid addled streets were empty.

I was in search of a pharmacy

Which sells Coca Cola.

Yes , I am well aware of the irony.

 

As I was walking in the main road

I saw an ambulance racing past me.

I always worry a bit about my oldest relatives

After I see that despicable life saving vehicle.

Gave a mental prayer.

Alas! A van with an empty ice box followed it.

 

Mood properly ruined,

I whispered curses to myself and

Switched to a tiny lane,

Hoping for calmness rather calamity

In smaller streets.

 

That’s when I heard a loud male voice

Shouting with all his lungs in hindi,

On how she had tortured him for the past 2 months

On very damn thing!

And it reverberated through the streets

Even when I was fast walking away..

 

Now thoroughly pissed with myself

For not just staying home and

Running out of stamina

I reached the end of the street.

There I saw a couple play badminton

Like we are in the middle of some summer holidays

And thought maybe corona IS

A vacation for the rich.

 

My cynical view was somewhat defeated

When I was nearing the pharmacy

And saw this cute cat

Stretching itself in the middle of the road.

Maybe all will be fine if I just chilled a bit

And stop constantly worrying so much?

 

Maybe peace is something to search inwards for

In the turbulent waves of my heart

Rather than in the rosy exteriors of my neigborhood?

Happy with my midstreet epiphany

I bought some aerated slow poison and

delicious diabetic inducing treats

and made my way back home.

 

 

 

 

You Too

I too didn’t

 wanna  get raped

Stalked hunted preyed on

And

Live in a social structure

Where I could do no wrong.

I too wanted to report him

And make him pay

For all the layers

He stripped off me

And made me a sexual object

Only worthy of being attained

I too want to come out clean

After I burn down this building

Of patriarchy and misogyny

Where his silence is valued more than my voice

And my silence is enough to prove his male noise.

I too

I really do

But will you pay my bills

And help me when I’m on pills?

Why will I ask you for justice

When you shame me for asking too late

Truth is

You don’t want me to voice out

And change this system

Where it works just fine for you

How is my accusation worse than his actions?

Because now you have to do something about it now?

So I’m sorry

If it is going to affect your privileged little life

But I am going to climb to the roof of your building

Take my biggest fricking megaphone

And shout YOU TOO*

*you silent enabler of patriarchy

I hope you can hear now*

Solo

Solo

Melancholy strings madly strumming like a guitar

Carnivorous id ravishing my morality from deep within

Inverted sleep cycles make me question reality

A madwoman NOT at work

I play a multi note orchestra  

To the current people of my life

Friends and family run fast

Away or Towards

I’m not sure.

 I have sat in silence too long

To continue the arrangement

Where I move my mouth

And you sing my song.

I will sing till

my larynx tears

Your eardrum.

The blood that will fall

Is a pittance compared to the pain

You so casually caused

So listen to me

Sing my glorious solo  

With my mistakes and all

And this time

Judge me

for who I really am. 

Seven Superstitions

  When I conducted a poll on my blog group for a suitable topic to write on, I was surprised that ‘superstitious beliefs’ emerged as a frontrunner. Of course there was the ever enticing ‘ How to flirt with girls: For men’ giving equal competition to it.Since I believe in Non obvious topics , I choose this one.

The poster girl of superstitions

You can find my How to not flirt with girls -> Here. You can find my ancient post on superstitions  Here. This post is a rehash of sorts of that post.

Before listing out some whacky superstitions let us ponder about the idea itself. Even the most unreligious and logical looking person sometimes hold pretty weird superstitions. The rationale seems to be  ‘why tempt fate?’. People used to the random uncontrollable pulls of life and nature try to bring some semblance of sanity with their own dose of insanity. Fear of the worst case scenario and the guilt which will definitely hit us if we proceed anyways and fail, also serve as pretty strong factors for holding superstitions.

I feel that superstitions or any habit for that matter are alright as long as they don’t impair our already dysfunctional lives. Like Harry duping Ron into believing he had drunk liquid luck , superstitions help us believe that all will be well and even if we failed it was not for want of effort on our part.  

That being said lets proceed with this semi listicle on Some Superstitions which I felt need to be mentioned.

     1)    

  Like the movie ‘chain kulii ki main kulii’ rightly showed, cricket is a fertile ground for superstitions to sprout from in our country. In this movie we have our protagonist who believes in his ‘magic’ bat only to know in the climax that it is he who is special. Cricket is a game of confidence and sledging and batting collapses, a little liquid courage did no one any harm. However, it is a different ball game for poor spectators who can sadly not control the cricketing proceedings. This leads to crazy situations when some people don’t watch the match they love for the sake of their team’s victory or banish others from watching it and sometimes make people stand in the exact positions when lady luck struck.

    2)     

Now imagine the rural scenario of agriculture dictated by the vagaries of nature. How can we be surprised that these people are the most superstitious? If I was a farmer in India I would probably wet the fields with my tears. It is no surprise that they tend to have the most ‘primitive’ superstitions like animal sacrifices and are the most vehement followers of faith and religion. You cannot survive without beliefs in these areas of activity.

   3)   

   That might explain why the most corrupt , cut a share to god in the name of faith. It is their own superstitious belief that they are making a deal with forces above. The tirupati coffers tell their own tales.

   4)      Talking of whacky superstitions , I read this book called ‘ When girls dare’ long back. One memory that stays clearly in my head when a girl really needs her violet color undie to win but it has gone for laundry! So what does she do? Of course wear a red and blue one and win the race :D

   5)     A surgeon's scrub cap

Only one purpose for this pic

    6)      Irksome ones which make no sense at all in this century :-

·         Wash hair at home after cutting hair even if they gave u a hair wash at the parlour ( borders on casteism if u ask me)       

·         Reach the house from the back door after coming back from a funeral. And bathe.

7 7)  

  Reserving the worst one for the last. Untouchability practiced in the name of menstruation in certain houses. Apparently a 3 day vacation for women from housework , it is actually very demeaning . You cannot touch anyone , the clothes and utensils you touch are impure and this practice silently continues to day in many households. While I do know some women who use it well to get out of social situations it is an absolutely disgusting superstition to still follow in the 21^st century. 

    What is the whackiest/ most ridiculous superstition you hold or have heard of?

                                                                                             

Puddle

Mirror Mirror!

Cry me a river

The translucent teardrops

Are actually from my forehead

Nothing but stinky fruits of my labour.

The beads of perspiration form

An amoebic puddle

Modern art

Won’t sell for a penny today

Investment for tomorrow you see.

On it,

I see myself of yesterday

A cartoon faced kid

Who wanted to be a detective ,

Kaleidoscopic dance

Ripples of time,

Myself of Today

An adultish looking person

Staring at pools and puddles

Wanting to dream again.

Written for Poet's united Midweek Motif 'Mirror'

Divided we fall

Hi there. So it has taken me longer than usual to get the blog rolling this year. Starting the year with an old unpublished poem which fits the theme of unity :) Would absolutely love all feedback! So comment away.

A conjoined twin trying to escape another

Grunting in exertion and effort

As his flesh binds him to another

But not his spirit

A group of people deciding

What is best for themselves

And propagandising it as

What is best for those who they represent

And changing the contours of history

And geographical boundaries

By coercion and threat.

A group of disadvantaged people

Who are sick of the current system

And want to create their own system

To grow sick of.

The prince who abandoned his title

Subjects , wife and children

In the name of enlightenment.

Are all seceding. 

Physically

Politically and

Morally

But is anyone really succeeding? 

Written for Poet united's midweek motif  'unity'. 

Fakebook?

In this world so connected with technology,we have actually lost our real connections.Technology has actually surpassed human-interactions. Real time Conversations became texting and Feelings became status updates.What you feel? Share your views on it. 

So this is my first post for indispire , I hope to participate more often. #indispire149 has the above mentioned topic and I have decided to play Devil's advocate. ( the best type of advocate)

Disclaimer : All views are solely my opinion and all images are taken from google , I claim no rights over them.

So it boils down to this

Cliched intro and some irony 

In every century , every decade man (woman too?) has proven that he hates new change or technology. For , every innovation there is equal and strong opposition ( see how i mimicked newton there xD ) and a general sense of disdain over all things new. And that is precisely what is happening here when slightly older generations ironically go on social media and blogging platforms to state how we don't have 'real' connections anymore. 

Technology is good * blasphemy *

No change is so simplistic or negative , unless it is brought by Hitler maybe. Truth be told technology has helped us connect more than ever before. I am thousands of miles away from my family and connect with them at a moment's notice through skype. Isn't that wonderful? Yes , it is. But to admit that would mean that *gasp* technology is a GOOD thing. 

Beholder 

We all know that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and the use or abuse of technology solely lies on the hands of the operator. Blaming oneself instead of the medium requires a lot of introspection and courage and most of us lack that. 

Exaggerations

Also known as crying over nothing

At any given point of time , a person is genuinely close to give or take 20 people? When it is face to face we avoid these other 100's of people or don't have a chance to connect with them and really doesn't impact us. However , when all of these people are on our virtual screen we get a sense that they are our 'friends' and feel disappointed when they don't respond. 

External validation

The problem is that when we post 'status' updates we want people to react , we need some sort of validation and knowledge that we are not shouting ourselves hoarse to an empty stadium. Social media and technology to a certain extent shows us how tiny we are in this world. And that doesn't feel like progress to many. 

Use to build up and not create 

But it's how we take it. If we are using Facebook solely to make new friends when we don't have any 'real' friends , it is not going to really help. There is no substitute for real human connection and organic personal experience as opposed to artificial , manufactured attempts to foster friendship. If we use sites like Facebook to build on a date or catch up with friends we already know , rest assured that it is 'real'.

Fakeness

Most of the 'fakeness' can be attributed to the forced sups? and nms uttered when one wants to be left alone and the other clearly doesn't get it. If you have your core group of friends and you regularly share updates on your life , you aren't fake you are just sharing it to wider circle who aren't used to the idea of instant sharing and sensory overload. 

Life goes on

An important point to be noted is that it is our real life relationships that impact our virtual ones. If our 'real' life is in order , I don't think we will even be complaining about our virtual ones. So people moaning about social media ruining your lives , take a deep look at the mirror and face the music. 

I also wanted to let you guys know that sometimes ( not always) you tend to lovely relationships with technology and social media too. I know a lot of bloggers and friends this way and Fakebook is not all that fake if you make an effort and you are yourself. In fact relative anonymity helps your true personality come out. The problem is the nature of the personality sometimes. So let's not blame the technology and learn to use it productively?

Thank you

Samyuktha Semi Jayaprakash

The Green coloured building

Blanket of nostalgia

Wrapped me tightly

Like a burrito

When I woke up today.

Past memories weighed me down

Go back to sleep they said

Relive those joyous days

Their glory finally acknowledged

Faces of friends

Spaces I hung out

Their authentic traces intact

Beckon me home

Ships eventually sail

Drop the anchor now and then

Thirsty for mirage

I drink salt water

It is better to revisit the green coloured building

In my head

The paths and persons more familiar and friendly

So I shut my eyes tightly.

Good night! 

Also : My juvenile post on farewell to the green coloured building is here 

It is my old school - BVM. Sometimes I get strong dreams about my school life and hope that I can relive them. I'm pretty sure I will appreciate it more this time around.

Walking the Walk

I stand before 2 roads

Hoping it will lead me to my yellow brick road

Eventually leaving me at my dream destination

Only that I don’t have a dream or a destination

Let alone a way to reach the way to reach it.

Maybe life isn’t about reaching a happy place

It is about being happy whilst while we reach it.

The only way to know for sure is by walking the path and 

not forgetting to

enjoy the breath taking view.

Look straight~like the eyes of god. 

( The object of this challenge is to write a poem in no more than 10 lines. Frame of reference is 'The Cross-roads' quoted from Kwesi Brew's poem, The Mesh. For Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads)

The story

I am very pleased to announce that this post marks #150 milestone for Steady Meanderings. No , I am not the kind who keeps tracks of these things , I'm very poor at statistics. However , I am very much addicted to social media and when I checked my memories on facebook for today , it came to my knowledge that 3 years ago on the exact same day was when this blog hit 100 posts. So I just counted the posts after that and voila! It was 149 ( You may never know with me , re count to be safe. I did count like 17 times. I do remember one accounts exam where I came to the same answer 9 times and the 10^th time managed to be different {and thankfully right} )

I could be a cool blogger who doesn’t fuss about this number and move on to the topic of discussion. Let’s face the truth , I am uncool.

I did write at length about my own blog once before in this embarrassingly juvenile post. ( Clickhere ) But history needs to be updated and a I want all the new readers to know the story of this blog which has shaped my identity and experiences over the years and moulded me as a person.

No , I am not going to go on a boring tirade of acknowledgements like an award recipient. I am going to just share with you all this blog’s story.

It all began one hot afternoon in Chennai summer of 2010 when S ( I hate using so many ‘I’s so switching to 3^rd person) sat in front of her archaic personal computer. She had heard that celebrities ‘blog’ and decided to ‘blog’ . She had ‘hi5ed’ ‘orkuted’ and ‘facebooked’ so why not ‘blog’. She followed some basic steps and apparently had created her own blog. What was she going to name it?

Ok this is getting crazy , switching to first person :P

I ended up naming my blog ‘ brainwaves unlimited’ as I was a big believer in eureka moments doing all the writing for you. It had a dark background and my first post was on ‘ Mafia Wars’, a game which reflected my love for Mario Puzo and ambition to be a Don’s wife ( the things one dreams of becoming in their childhood *sigh* ) One should give me credit for not deleting my horrendous posts. It provides quality entertainment.

 I kept racking my posts which no one had a clue about , I don’t think I even knew the art of facebook sharing or promotion back then. No one knew Brainwaves Unlimited existed. So what does the budding blogger do? Create another blog of course. This one was called ‘ Perceptions’ and had a pink background. So we had one blog for my brain and another for my heart. It took a while for me to realise that splitting my work in 2 blogs was counter productive as it looked like I hardly wrote in both the blogs and views came out to be less too. So I eventually combined both to become  “ Semi’s Stories and Sharings….” I always thought "…." Made one sound serious. Didn’t hit me for a long time that sharings wasn’t an actual word. Years rolled on and people started actually reading and reacting to my posts. Initially , it was read only by my school friends and relatives. My parents proud that their otherwise dull daughter was doing something productive , sent it to their friend circles. So I would have awkward moments when I would attend weddings and I would have adults who I hardly knew come up to me and tell me nice things about my blog ( red in the cheeks and quiet happiness that parents cared enough to share , Thenks Gaiz. ) 

I took up local journalism and spamming my friend’s walls ( not timelines)  with links. My initial posts are all light hearted and anecdotal – like this post hopes to be. Then like people transition the blog also did with more serious posts aboutaccidents and failures which hit my life finding a place here. High school saw me focus on the blog only when a ‘brainwave’ hit me hard. Somehow it survived through occasional updates. This has never been an ambitious blog competing for views or advertisements but merely a space where I voice out my thoughts or display some creativity and hope to engage in discussions or receive constructive feedback. This was followed by law school which meant lesser time for my blog which really stopped being updated. When I was applying for my editorial board I realised that ‘sharings’ wasn’t a word and I needed to rename the blog to submit it. So it became a more mature and less self obsessed ‘ Steady Meanderings’.

The name change brought in a responsibility to do something meaningful with it. So the ‘dynamic views’ template which looked good but wasn’t really functional was finally altered – that took a lot of effort as complacency sets in after half a decade of blogging.

I started participating in blogger communities like ‘ poets united’ which gave the jumpstart this blog needed. I also occasionally write for zeading and have started a wordpress blog ( blasphemy) where I promote anonymous content of budding writers. 

It feels like I have come a looong way from Mafia war days. Writing for 6 years , 150 posts only when inspiration strikes is an achievement which I can’t believe I have unlocked.

At one level , I write only for myself , I am not going to change my content for anyone. But , it gives deep satisfaction to a content creator when their content gets perceived in the way it was intended to be or gives rise to varied interpretations or provokes thoughts or debates. 

I would like to thank you if you have actually read the post till the end , it means you have been a part of my journey J and random feedbacks I get in my inbox or even an anonymous comment or criticism really makes my day cz no one wants to be not heard. On that double negative note I bid you goodbye!! 

( till the next post )

Samyuktha Semi Jayaprakash

A dollop of darkness and a drop of sunshine.

It has been a long while my friends since I wrote anything in this space. Never has an injury to my right hand (which I have had one too many of ) affected me as much as now. I am impressed with the hunger I feel to write.

I used to be called callous, insensitive

Was never happier.

The minute I started to give a damn

The tragedy started.

The tragedy called life

Where people you used to love

Became completely different persons

So much so that

You think you wanted a disclaimer

That things could go horribly wrong!

But maybe this is the disclaimer

For the next time.

Writing all this, I look in the mirror

And see a completely different person

Than the years before.

Role reversals

Shape shifting

By the tendrils of time.

I want to be who I was

And also who I am.

A dollop of darkness and a drop of sunshine.

Aloof and caring at the same time.

How to achieve all this

When I can’t even tie my shoe laces on? 

And to my poets united friends. The post came before the motif. So the explanation maybe a bit contrived. So my take is that this piece is an appreciation of the effect of time upon our lives.