Fill in the blanks

 

I put pen on paper

with blind hope that

muscle memory will lead me further. 

While flexible poses fashioned my flighty youth,

I can feel the rigid rigor mortis

setting upon the dusk of my adulthood. 

Ah! I can indeed survive by merely scrolling

and autotyping 

and generally not using my brain. 

Play nostalgic games

cocooned in comfort 

in beer bosom.

Do the same work and 

not get off the treadmill 

even when I know 

I am never going anywhere

on this broken machine. 

I know I can but should I?

If the dart is hitting the middle of the forehead

maybe it is time to skateboard off to 

an unknown vortex! 

Nirvana

 

 My poem is response to the below sunday muse picture prompt. you can find other entires on the link here

 

I stared at god

With my sorry eyes

Was he a benevolent being

Even 

after all he is seeing?

Or 

just another soul fleeing

from 

What he was actually feeling

In pursuit of a deeper meaning?

His eyes look tired

All seeing

Pain ensuing no doubt

A deity is a constant state of being

Feeling for all of humanity

I hear his silent prayer,

When he sees his little kitty,

For all my seven lives

I gave him a thankful purr

For giving me strength

We embraced,

I was born.

 

A new hope

 

Collective bad dreams

Spit us out of our

Stupified sleeps.

 

Denuded desires,

Chasing the ghosts of

Gone glories.

 

Midnight oil burned,

Moody mindscapes

Caught frozen in

picturesque landscapes.

 

I didn’t know what to do,

But she stood with me

With a lamp in her hand

And somehow that was enough.

Written for the Sunday muse and PU's Sunday pantry. Based it out of the struggle my team is going through this season. 

Karpagam gardens

So , I went on a walk today.

Roads which  once bustled with robust activity

The Covid addled streets were empty.

I was in search of a pharmacy

Which sells Coca Cola.

Yes , I am well aware of the irony.

 

As I was walking in the main road

I saw an ambulance racing past me.

I always worry a bit about my oldest relatives

After I see that despicable life saving vehicle.

Gave a mental prayer.

Alas! A van with an empty ice box followed it.

 

Mood properly ruined,

I whispered curses to myself and

Switched to a tiny lane,

Hoping for calmness rather calamity

In smaller streets.

 

That’s when I heard a loud male voice

Shouting with all his lungs in hindi,

On how she had tortured him for the past 2 months

On very damn thing!

And it reverberated through the streets

Even when I was fast walking away..

 

Now thoroughly pissed with myself

For not just staying home and

Running out of stamina

I reached the end of the street.

There I saw a couple play badminton

Like we are in the middle of some summer holidays

And thought maybe corona IS

A vacation for the rich.

 

My cynical view was somewhat defeated

When I was nearing the pharmacy

And saw this cute cat

Stretching itself in the middle of the road.

Maybe all will be fine if I just chilled a bit

And stop constantly worrying so much?

 

Maybe peace is something to search inwards for

In the turbulent waves of my heart

Rather than in the rosy exteriors of my neigborhood?

Happy with my midstreet epiphany

I bought some aerated slow poison and

delicious diabetic inducing treats

and made my way back home.

 

 

 

 

Liquid Heart

 

 ##skylover wordlist - Alchemy , implacable , knight , aqua , mask , aloof , almond , nocturnal , landscape , sting.

 

 

These nocturnal mornings..

A product of virus induced,

Unstable raging routines

Sting me just a bit more when

It dawns upon me that,

 

My knight in shining whatever

Will find it just a bit more impossible

To track me down.

My face covered with equal measures

Aloofness & N97 masks.

 

My implacable heart demands

An alchemy of sorts

Or atleast a reverse osmosis

Of this aquatic almond

In the centre of my chest,

 

To leak the leanings of my liquid heart

Unto the larger landscape

And hope love finds me

Before it is a bit too late.

 

I thank Kerry for her monthly word list. That really inspired me and I ended up incorporating all the words to make one poem. 

Inner Goddess

(Of peace )

You Too

I too didn’t

 wanna  get raped

Stalked hunted preyed on

And

Live in a social structure

Where I could do no wrong.

I too wanted to report him

And make him pay

For all the layers

He stripped off me

And made me a sexual object

Only worthy of being attained

I too want to come out clean

After I burn down this building

Of patriarchy and misogyny

Where his silence is valued more than my voice

And my silence is enough to prove his male noise.

I too

I really do

But will you pay my bills

And help me when I’m on pills?

Why will I ask you for justice

When you shame me for asking too late

Truth is

You don’t want me to voice out

And change this system

Where it works just fine for you

How is my accusation worse than his actions?

Because now you have to do something about it now?

So I’m sorry

If it is going to affect your privileged little life

But I am going to climb to the roof of your building

Take my biggest fricking megaphone

And shout YOU TOO*

*you silent enabler of patriarchy

I hope you can hear now*

An ode to the good night

The night gave me his shirt

And solace and comfort

I could stare at his face

All night long

And expose my secrets how

He gifted me solace

From mundane encumbrances

For most part exacerbated by

That cantankerous bitch known as day.

Her piercing eyes

Questioning everything

Intent on making me sweat

You cannot excise the truth mom

Just ask nicely maybe?

Why do you like him more you ask

I can walk his streets

Dark it maybe

Safe to brandish out my scattered self  

And lick the ice cream off my hand

Streets sparse with kindred spirits

Silent whispers

Ready to let me in

On their simmering secrets

Once the sunlight sets in

The clocks get reset

The same souls turn back into harsh humans &

Atone for yesterday’s falter

With my back broken

I limp through the day

And surrender to my dear father

He puts on his twinkling smile

Reserved only for these special nights

And snuggles his daughter

The travails of the day seem far away

If only for these few hours.

"in the street of the sky night walks scattering poems" took this Toad's prompt to heart and the results are for yours to see. 

Solo

Solo

Melancholy strings madly strumming like a guitar

Carnivorous id ravishing my morality from deep within

Inverted sleep cycles make me question reality

A madwoman NOT at work

I play a multi note orchestra  

To the current people of my life

Friends and family run fast

Away or Towards

I’m not sure.

 I have sat in silence too long

To continue the arrangement

Where I move my mouth

And you sing my song.

I will sing till

my larynx tears

Your eardrum.

The blood that will fall

Is a pittance compared to the pain

You so casually caused

So listen to me

Sing my glorious solo  

With my mistakes and all

And this time

Judge me

for who I really am. 

Plato's Fault

Tick Tock

Tock Tick

Tick Tock!

Exam in 11 hours , 3 new questions to do and 34 more to revise. They hadn’t slept in 3 days due to the previous 3 back to back exams…..

Crushed Red bull cans and empty mugs which once contained black coffee lay on the hostel corridor along with 4 girls who were splayed across sheetless mattresses dumped onto the corridor from their respective rooms. The corridor overlooked the normally empty grounds of the hostel which was now patrolled by sleepless students scrambling about in despair.

JJ’s eyelids were closing in on her against her will. Not now baby… only 1 more exam then Freedom 4evaaa! Almost echoing the same sentiments, came a voice from the other side of the mattress with a hollow , dreamlike quality “You know what is the true freedom? Sleeping forever…for eternity”

The voice belonged to Kalra , she who loved saying crazy things for the sake of drama and she who sometimes was drama itself in a human shape. The third one , ‘Rambo’ had given up on life after being utterly exhausted and had taken the student’s route to conquer it – apply some Zandu Balm on bread and Bam! You got your energy. In rambo’s case since she was a bit big , she overestimated how much she needed and had way too much and now she was high as high can be and was just rolling around and annoying others.

Wait. What was that noise? Oh that’s anan

“After a certain point you just have to admit that NOBODY gives a flying ___ about what Plato , Aristotle or Aquinas gotta say. What about what we have got to say? I had no say when papa wanted me to follow his footsteps and become a lawyer. I must be the only person in India who wanted to become an engineer and wasn’t allowed to become one!”

She moped in her shrill sad voice as she always did. Her friends had only eye rolls to offer her. Rolling Rolling Rolling   

That’s what happens when you realise that you hate your career choice every exam time and resolve to tell dad you are quitting, only to come back placated, thanks to the latest iPhone he bribed you with. You lose the moral ground pretty fast. Sorry Anan

“ If you keep telling me this story I’ll end up writing it instead of this Hobbes theory lololol” JJ started crying out in laughter. She is losing it! And yes she is one of those cases who ‘say’ LOL. God bless them.

So JJ continued with her Hobbes theory despite lack of sleep and overdose of laughter. That dude apparently believed that law is a social contract that the first generation of beings voluntarily gave up their  rights for and the forthcoming generations have no option to get out of it. Isn’t consent material to any contract? This is just plain fraud and coercion on the state’s part! I don’t want skl , college , job , government , taxes , pathan notes and red bull cans! But I am forced to take part in all this because someone already decided what ‘civilisation’ is. Why can’t there be a strip of land where people who don’t wanna be part of the contract can like chill and make rocks out of fire without the government asking us to pay taxes. wHYY?

But before she could Rambo woke up with a start. She looked into Kalra’s eyes and smiled serenely. Kalra got scared and asked her “ what is wrong with you Behen..”

“ Behen! I have figured out life” she spoke manically not unlike a religious fanatic “ We have been going about it all wrong. The point of life is not being awake , the point of life , the point is to sleep! We are supposed to find food for energy purposes , eat them and go to sleep where we can live in our dreams , where anything and everything is possible. There is no limits of logic and physics in our head. We could enjoy being a millionaire and have an eight course meal and feel everything. Isn’t life all about feeling and perceiving. It is not what it is but what it can be. With more sleep and practice I believe we can control our dreams and that is how we fulfil our destiny. What the hell are we doing reading Plato and Aristotle when we can be our own thinkers? When did the world decide we have finished establishing rules. Omg I’m gonna copyright all this. Yipee! Bye losers , I’m becoming famous”

Rambo got up and ran to other parts of the hostel to scare more poor souls. The other 3 silent looked at each other not sure what they should. Wake up the warden and tell her that Rambo has lost it? But who wasn’t losing it? Some only more than others.

“ We ALL have theories and ideas. But we don’t publish it and force other people to study it in one day and make them go mad” wailed anan.

“I don’t think Plato set our exam papers anan..” quipped JJ.

“ Arey JJ , no one wants your stupid logic. Okay I am getting bored. Teach me something about your South India.” butted in Kalra

“ Kalra , if you can at least tell me the names of the 4 Southern states , I’ll try”

“I know that your name is Jayalalitha and that’s funny cuz your dead CM had the same name. Okay don’t get pissed. Mallu Land, Madras , telugu nadu and the other one I forgot”

“ Wow , I hope that you can retain at least the name of the people you have to write about tomorrow”

Mildly offended Kalra lashed out “ Tell me, does your Chinnai have Punjabi food like naan and butter chicken?”

JJ lost it , “ Enough of this b.s , I don’t live in a village. Obviously we have everything!”

“Saali , what I wrong with villages. Don’t show off your big city arrogance”

“ You started it , you racist prick!”

Sensing a cat fight which no one had the energy to fight Anan chipped in , “Guys! Don’t let Plato destroy our friendship. This is ALL plato’s fault!”

They hadn’t come to an agreement on that quite yet when a loud noise came from above shocking them. No guys it wasn’t Plato coming back to defend his now tarnished image but it was the drug addled Rambo! She had managed to find a dangerously high place to stand on.

“ Everything is fake! Dreams are what is. To prove this truth which no one seems to believe I am going to jump from here because I know that I am trapped in an eternal nightmare called reality.Cheer me on ladkiyon!”

Her friends gaped in horror as she took the plunge and came crashing down. Her eyelids were shut firmly and finally..

Tick Tock

Tock Tick

Tick Tock

The clock was ticking in the exam hall and Rambo woke up from her dreams. Didn’t know how much of that was a dream! Did she have zandu balm , was she on the roof , lol did she have friends by the name JJ , Kalra and Anan even? She didn’t know anything , couldn’t focus. However , she did recall the answer to Plato’s Republic. Truly this is all his fault.

Rockstar

I Rebel

Don’t compromise

Non conform

Break Glass Ceilings

Only for it to shatter all over me

Cuts deeper than wound

I persist

Keep flying towards the star

My scars sing to the world

That I am a rockstar

And now I wave down at them

Because I dared to climb up. 

The Dawn

The quadrille #25 challenge piqued my interest with its word limit of 44 words to write a poem on 'dawn'. So I penned this. I hope to read your feedback on the same as I really enjoyed writing it. 

Image borrowed from the internet

Constant cacophony of  callous cuckoos cloud the horizons of my consciousness ,

I seek the shimmering rays of the sun 

to build me the moral compass to navigate the gnarly waters of life. 

Strangely enough

 the darkness beneath my eyes dawned the light within me