Modern Kindness

What is it to be kind ,

In this mocking (modern) 

Day and age?

To smile at a stranger 

Give them the heeby jeebies 😬

Be a loyal friend 

Who money can’t amend

To trust in humanity 

And better side of this 

Cunning(human) populace?

To just be decent 

With no strings attached .

To be good 

To more than just your blood.

And to do all this

Even when no one is really watching.

(I think I can’t come up with a better picture for this poem. Two of the kindest souls 😚)

Okay my kindness quota for the year is over 😂

An ode to the good night

The night gave me his shirt

And solace and comfort

I could stare at his face

All night long

And expose my secrets how

He gifted me solace

From mundane encumbrances

For most part exacerbated by

That cantankerous bitch known as day.

Her piercing eyes

Questioning everything

Intent on making me sweat

You cannot excise the truth mom

Just ask nicely maybe?

Why do you like him more you ask

I can walk his streets

Dark it maybe

Safe to brandish out my scattered self  

And lick the ice cream off my hand

Streets sparse with kindred spirits

Silent whispers

Ready to let me in

On their simmering secrets

Once the sunlight sets in

The clocks get reset

The same souls turn back into harsh humans &

Atone for yesterday’s falter

With my back broken

I limp through the day

And surrender to my dear father

He puts on his twinkling smile

Reserved only for these special nights

And snuggles his daughter

The travails of the day seem far away

If only for these few hours.

"in the street of the sky night walks scattering poems" took this Toad's prompt to heart and the results are for yours to see. 

Mahanati Hangover

There is something about this movie. It has invigorated the romantic in me and stirred me so much that I have no option but pen my thoughts on it. It is not that the film is without flaws – the ‘innocent’ phase of savitri tests our patience , the film maybe guilty of being too in love with its protagonist and background score was sometimes just TOO loud and it ( perhaps understandably) hesitates to go too deep into the character’s psyche or action. However , the film soars above because of only one reason – Keerthy Suresh.

Right before I had the lucky opportunity to watch this movie (twice) , Keerthy Suresh was my least favourite actress. Maybe because she acted in Bhairavaa , Remo and Thodari – the three worst films inflicted on mankind. Maybe because she was more Loosu than ponnu in her loosu ponnu roles. She isn’t typically glamorous or stylish ( not that I particularly care) nor did she show any acting skill which would warrant her inclusion in all the latest films.

Until now.

She begun the movie with the usual bubbly , enthucutlet beats. I resigned myself for a dud. But then Gemini Ganesan A.K.A Dulquer A.K.A ‘Ammadi’ dropping Kadhal Mannan entered and the film sprang to life. We could see why she fell in love , even though there were huge warning signs everywhere. He isn’t a bad dude either. It is just life. Then comes her transition into ‘Mahanati’ / ‘ Nadigaiyar’ Thilagam’ . Although I haven’t watched any of the movies which she acted out in black and white I could see the greatness. I could see the Savitri in Keerthy. Ganga became Chandramukhi. There was something awesome about her walking elegantly to the Mahanati BGM. Like Rajini walking.

Then her heartbreak and downfall. Damn Keerthy is good. I’m assuming she used prosthetics for the heavy portions and she emoted so well. Maybe I am praising too much. But she was worth it.

Also , all this throws light on the fact that the tamil and telugu industry really need to pump out more scripts for their heroines. They used to in the 50’s, why can’t they now? When everything is apparently more advanced.

The sets and art design made me nostalgic for a time I know nothing about. Madras with trams and taxis looked so good, I wish there were more period movies made. They have a charm which we somehow are not able to capture in our ‘now’ movies.

The songs are so good. ‘Mouna Mazhayile’ is all shades of romantic and mesmerizing. Mahanati BGM is so regal and ‘ Irudiyil enna Minjum’ is just haunting…. The direction , shots were really beautiful. Telugu Cinema with Bahubali , Arjun Reddy and Mahanati now is showing how to be grand and good at the same time.

Rockstar

I Rebel

Don’t compromise

Non conform

Break Glass Ceilings

Only for it to shatter all over me

Cuts deeper than wound

I persist

Keep flying towards the star

My scars sing to the world

That I am a rockstar

And now I wave down at them

Because I dared to climb up. 

Home

4 walls and a door

Don’t forget the floor

That is the place I live

And not my home

Home is where the heart is

And lives

unequivocally enshrines the self

with a warm sense of belonging

No foreboding or fear

Can reach me here.

I am child once again

In this humble abode.

Raucous waves ~~

Sticky sand which won’t leave my slippers

The fresh smell of salt in the sea 

All welcome me home

How can I resist?

Filter coffee

Happy dog

Loving Grandma

That’s what makes my home

What makes yours?

If you don’t know ,

Go search, seek , build !!

If you do know ,

Visit it more often.

Treasure the warmth it gives you

Even if you live there all the time.

Especially If you live there ‘all’ the time.

(image borrowed , not the one of my dog though :P)

Kabali da!

Nothing screams CHENNAI more than Rajinikanth. The fervour with which he is ‘worshipped’ is looked at by outsiders with cynical and smug eyes. No one has ever managed to capture the public’s collective consciousness like him. When he falls sick , people pray for his welfare. He is seen as an extension of one’s own family. This may seem as pretty naive to many. But I feel it just embodies the welcoming and loving spirit of Chennai.

The almost individualistic human spirit which rose to the occasion during the recent floods.Celebrities and common people alike helped many silently and not so silently.

I heard many saying that the hype around Rajinikanth is being Media manufactured. While it does require strong muscle to put up so many posters and achieve visibility via tie ups with 5 star , Air Asia and Amazon they count for squat when people don’t accept it.

The fortunate or unfortunate truth ( however you see it) is that people have accepted Rajini as one of their own. They love him. I love him. There is something about him you just cannot ignore.

Ram Gopal Varma recently posted an ugly tweet questioning the Rajini phenomenon , basically making a joke about his looks. That is another reason why I love us. We don’t really care how our heroes look. ( we do care how our heroines look , but that is reserved for another day) Rajini may not act like Kamal Haasan but he has a villainous streak from his early days in his career which shines through in motta boss scenes of Sivaji or the vasi meh scenes in Enthiran / Robot.

The first movie I watched was Padayappa and to this date I watch it every time it comes on the television. To understand the rajini love you need to understand the emotions a fan goes through when you watch his movies. But how can I explain the gaped mouthed goosebumpy feels every fan feels when they watch a movie of his? The clichéd but mandatory Intro scene where you scream your lungs out , not really caring about the dialogues or anything else for that matter? The necessary SPB intro song where he reluctantly shakes his hips in his trademark style? The way he so coolly throws the cigarette/chewing gum in his mouth and his punch dialogues!!!

Punch dialogues are one line counters delivered in Rajini style. All else is shite.

The man has got style. You don't. That's it.

Rajini's legacy seems to have passed to Ajith and Vijay , who are both trying to capture the whole market which Rajini singlehandedly controls.

Some may say the golden era of Rajini films was the 90s and that those days are over. They are right. Devout passion is a thing of bygone era. And less important things like innovation in story and secondary characters are also required nowadays. That is why lazy clichéd stories like Lingaa don't work anymore. A good rajini movie always had good screenplay and pace though ( BAASHA , ARUNACHALAM , ANNAMALAI , need I say more? )

What makes Kabali more exciting though is that Rajini , the safe one has decided to experiment! He has finally hit the reboot button , move on with the times , and finally decided to show the grey in his non existent hair. He is being directed by a young talent who cares about filmmaking and not just moneymaking and produced by a veteran who cares enough about the moneymaking. He doesn’t seem to have a juvenile looking actress acting as his love interest ( seems to be a trend of 2000s , rajini of the 90s was married mostly or in mature relationships atleast) and there are a talented bunch of secondary actors around him.

And he still has swag.

Some things never change!

And yes , I am proud to be a Rajini fan . I am not going to be forced to be ‘ashamed’ of it because some wrongly westernised idiots think it is not ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ anymore.

What I am trying to say is

MAGIZCHI

KABALII DAA!!

P.S – Someone help me get tickets for the movie . For I am stranded in Pune  and really wanna try FDFS*

FDFS – First day first show for the uninitiated

Forever Young

When is one truly grown up?
He said "When you're more than five feet tall"
She laughed at her seven year old cousin.
But it got her thinking.
When puberty hits?
Was biology even a factor?
Then she recalled all the adult shaped boys she had come across over the years ,
they thought a bit of facial hair signified maturity!
A guffaw should still make sense
however hot and deep it sounded.

Not like she felt very adultish herself.
She had the biological numbers
She did have her own place
and took her own decisions
had romantic interests.

Was self sufficiency the key?
There are quite a number of 'adults' who earned
but who didn't appear to be in control of anything.
Maybe it is all an appearance of self assurance.

Nobody knows what they are doing ~
Life keeps throwing curveballs at you
but you don't even know how to play baseball!
We are all just trying to walk on water
Never figuring life out
and pretending to be an 'adult'

Never appearing to lose control ,
I think losing your concept of what you are
and trying to explore who you are is the first mark of adulthood.
Not piling on premade store bought identities marked 'grown up'.

We all think an 'adult' is someone with a family , job and etcetera
but most of them are just kids who were thrown at the deep end of the pool
very fast
That they appear to be floating with head barely above water
and eventually learn to not sink
is not the slight bit endearing.

Why can't they be swimmers  who learn all the skills or
Maybe they wanna scuba dive or sail in sailboats
or maybe they wanna fly .
Who are we to decide who adults are?

To me an adult is a person who knows who he/she really is or has a clear vision of who they are going to become or who atleast admits they have no idea and is working towards it.
A person who makes their own strategy for life.
Till then we will be forever young
and confused.

Samyuktha Semi Jayaprakash

Confessions

 13^th may 2015

Wednesday

Forgive me father , for I have sinned. I have always wanted to go to a church and make grand confessions to a calm priest. But that never seems to work out in my favour. So in this mini diary entry , I register my random private thoughts – which are not sins per se and fit more into the heading of confessions. I want the inevitable someone who peeps into this diary to know that I'm not high , embarrassed or drunk – right now at this moment at least.

1.       I didn't learn Hindi not because of some big moral principle of solidarity for my state’s culture but because I was too lazy (still am) to learn a new language which didn't immediately affect my then near future . Although, necessity forced me to understand it somewhat eventually.

2.     

  I'm proud of being a ‘tomboy’ or the opposite of my general stereotype as a girl. And , that has led me to hide that I actually enjoy romantic movies much more than action ones.

3.     

 I'm ashamed of Surya as an actor nowadays. I fell in love with the guy who excelled in multiple offbeat yet catch roles. Either the star in him as eaten the actor completely or he has very bad taste in choosing his scripts. I just wish the old surya is back. I hate the post 2011 Surya. * That was tough to admit, even on paper* I still hope that his next movie will bring a turnaround. I have been waiting for 5 years now.

4.   

    I hate the Kolkata Knight Riders because of  a) Sharukh Khan b) their arrogance ( Cough cough Gambhir) and c) … because they are damn good as a team and the only serious threat to Chennai Super Kings overall.

5.      

I find it uncool to admit that I prefer Tamil music over English music. Harris Jayaraj any day . *sheepish grin*

6.    

   I don’t think I'm serious enough to be a lawyer. But I do know that I’ll get there eventually. If I start soon.

7.      

I’m a very self centered person and I really don’t listen when others talk about their life stories and that in turn makes me feel guilty because I impose my life story on everyone through this blog.

8.      

I can seriously can keep going. But sane enough to know that honesty is not often the best policy even in the seemingly safest places.

9.    

   I’m going to make this into a blogpost. 

 Final one - Nowadays , I enjoy Tv shows much more than books. And that is blasphemous in my world. So , forgive me lord for I have sinned.

So , in the spirit of confessions readers are requested to share some poignant truth about themselves :P can be pointless too. But an honest revelation!

Hold on.

(A poem ,a song? I don't know , what I just wrote down. But , I wrote it with all my heart - at least the tiny broken pieces left of it )

P.s - all pics taken from google only. 

HOLD ON

Hey you!

This moment ain’t permanent.

Embrace it.

I know it ain’t a new gospel

Or something.

But it is true.

There will come an international relations paper

Which gives you the feeling

That you aced it.

Embrace it.

Because it ain’t permanent bro.

This moment when you

Open your contracts question paper

Well prepared with all the

Expected questions of the

Last 5 years.

And life/god/nature/paper setter

Decides to ask that 20 mark question

Which has never been asked in the past

12 years.

Remember!

This also ain’t permanent bro.

Don’t embrace this godforsaken moment

Try shrinking it away by

Not giving it enough importance

Don’t repress it though ,

You might get cancer.

But that is because

Everything causes cancer nowadays.

Please hold on to that moment

When your lady love

Walks down the aisle

Clothed head to toe in white

And love , full of life.

Because

You might lose your best friend in a

Helicopter crash

And your lady love loses her left leg

And blames you

And you end up having to leave her

Since you forget when you laughed last .

Thank you Shonda Rhimes

You have taught me

That this moment ain’t permanent.

Damn you T.V shows.

If that isn't enough,

You are one moment in the 6^th grade

Declaring you’ll all be besties for life

And the next moment

You are walking down the same streets

5 years later ,

With not even 1 bestie in sight

Separated by change in schools , colleges,cities

Not

Your dramatic fights , jealousy or treachery

Just

Life simply moving on

With or without you.

Time makes us forget , not care any more

Just move on to

Another set of unrelated events

to be embroiled in &

Which we strive to find meaning in.

We will never learn

To cope with all the broken hearts

And badly meandered relationships

The least we could try

Is to

Hold on to this moment

This beautiful one which you

Hope to recall

When a lorry is coming out of nowhere

To take your life

That safe moment

When your dad holds your hands in his

So casually yet so reassuringly.

That crazy moment when

You jumped off the seat

Watching a very funny movie with your friends.

Or quite simply

The ones after a very good meal.

Because brace yourself babies,

Life is just behind that curb

Waiting to bulldoze this

One moment

With a million messy ones

Hold on.