Nimbu paani

 

What does April mean to me?

To start at the beginning

A bit cliché

Summer Holidays!

Gully Cricket and lemon juice

Life didn’t give us lemons back then

Only lemon juice

And boy how we drank it!

Not a care in the world

Sticky mess all over

once white shirts and

Broken beach castles and sand filled shoes

You should also know that

April in Chennai was a month of heat

A month to quite literally sink in your teeth

And grab a juicy bite of watermelon or mango

That’s how life tasted like.

 

April is also the month

When I stumbled upon writing

26^th April 2010

A blog was born.

I felt the joy of creating something

My digital Disneyland

Every post a joyride

Traversing as per my thoughts.

 

April later still remains a month of joy

Albeit filled with chaos.

A period of gold rush

Before the courts close for may .

I still experience summer holidays

Albeit mixed with the beginning of the new financial year.

 

April has now made a full circle.

The month I again established something

Which will hopefully remain immortal

Like this blog.

My new law firm

Saaki Legal estd 15.04.2024

A watermelon or mango of love, labour and joy!

 

Nimbu Paani means lemonade/ lemon water in Hindi. 

Inspired by PU's weekly prompt 'April' 

Been a while but now you know why. Will post and visit you all more henceforth!

 

Sishya

 

When I was a kid I remember reading this famous mahabharatha story on Karna and parasurama. Karna a Kshatriya lies to Parasurama that he is a bhramin to get trained in archery and stuff. Parasurama is very pleased with him. One day when parasurama was like napping in Karna’s lap, a scorpion bites through karna and he doesn’t flinch ( not wanting to disturb his mentor’s beauty sleep ) His hotheaded mentor wakes up due to the blood trickling down on him and instead of being touched by his pupil’s devotion realizes that his disciple can’t be a weak bhramin and must be a strong Kshatriya to withstand such pain. And curses karna. That’s the end of the story. You heard me right. You can read a more proper version of this story here.

Firstly, how flawed and cool is mahabharatha lol love it infinitely more than the boring Ramayana ( Don’t come at me haters)

Secondly, this story is pretty dark, I’m glad I didn’t understand the overtly casteist nature of this story when I was young.

What I am focusing on today and what has been running in my head is the fundamentally toxic guru-sishya bond which is so revered in our country and which is so firmly embedded in our mind that even acts of cutting your thumb (ekalavya I’m looking at you) , withstanding scorpion bites may not be sufficient to gain your ‘guru’s’  appreciation. And you just need to keep trying harder. Anything remotely resembling labour law is seen as a favour done to you. Having no work life balance is glorified. Even the good ones act like they’re performing charity. I remember an  office where my friend worked Monday to Sundays at – they used to say how lucky he was that he was even getting paid. I am not just talking out of personal experience. Sadly, I see workplace exploitation and burnout in all fields including but not limited to medicine,engineering,C.As, architects….basically my whole friend list is one unhappy overworked mess and no one seems to acknowledge that the system is rigged. They just blame the individual as whiny or a ‘millenial’  *sigh*

(359 words)

 

Karuppu Da

 P.C - Jason Peterson

Life in the Black and White

Justified ,

 aligned to be professional

Where is my Bookman Old Style?

A checkered Chess

A pawn marching forward

To become Queen

At the end of it all.

My Dog’s Coat is

Black and White too!

I pet her inconsistencies

And pat mine too

We move forward

W(h)ining & Winning.

A dash of grey

Can blot the white

But can never dim the dark

And that is why

I am a Black Queen y’all.

( Karuppu means black and Da is synonymous to dude in tamil)

Thaat

Uhm.

Restless

Like today will bring me no good

Charting goals for tomorrow

Only that I don’t what they are.

It is not a question of what to do

I know that I want to do good

For myself and others .

So , a question of how

But the nihilistic why?

Keeps poking its head pretty randomly.

Never wanted to play in the corporate rat race

But the pressure to be ‘placed’

Gnaws my resolve.

Resolve to do what? 

I still don’t know..

Noo

Every field is going to be a struggle

What if I pick something I love and

My passion burns into ashes?

Why should there be only one path?

The need to know all the answers

Makes me unravel

The thought of meandering aimlessly

Doesn’t bode well too.

Taking concrete action towards this

Seems like saying bye to that.

So this , that or this and that?

How about Thaat?

Aargh.

8

Hi readers! Thanks for sticking around even when I don't write for months. I was having a writer's block of sorts and generally a rough phase in my life. The poem I'm publishing below is a very personal one and took a great deal of bravery from my side to be even posted. Many friends dissuaded me from sharing this particular chapter of my life. I have written on what it is like, to feel like a failure even when you know that you aren't one. It might seem like a small problem to most of you but I assure you that it has taken its toll on my life. However , I've recovered enough to talk about it now and share it with others , for I know that I'm not alone and want others to not feel alone too. This post does not intend to be negative , it just captures one of the darker phases of my life. There is always light at the end of the tunnel , I just chose to project the darkness this time. Thank you. 

People who get 98 start behaving like a 98

The poor ones who get an 8

Can’t help but feel like one.

Especially when you shower them with

Your 98 tonnes of optimism

It is not you , it is not them

It is the 8

Not the end of the world

But an 8.

Supposedly a learning curve

But unfortunately

Mostly a slippery slope

A direct downward spiral

Into the invisible abyss

Of mass mediocrity .

Which they have been trying to avoid ,

Even when they were at their

Personal Everest of fame.

What can you really do?

When your personal brilliance

Gets scraped off your skin

With the harsh gravel

That is your education system.

Don’t worry about your results.

Just give your best every time

Even if you fail almost every time

For faults that you never made.

Don’t worry , Don’t feel , Don’t care

Just play fruit ninja

And believe that it is not your fault

That you failed.

Keep playing fruit ninja ,

Knowing you did nothing to deserve that 8 .

Keep playing till you break all levels

Till you start doubting the veracity of your claims

Till you start doubting the obvious.

You know you did nothing wrong.

But where is the proof?

Who feels like shit?

Not that you know how shit really feels like

But you get the gist.

Who feels depressed all the time ,

Not able to cope with a seemingly

Erroneous failure ,

You or university or god?

Till the day of hopefully inevitable rectification

Who has to squirm every time they hear an 8?

The number you once loved

Because it was so easy to draw

Till you found out 2 O’s wasn’t the way anyways.

The number which you mastered

To apply for license .

The number you cannot help but hate irrationally.

Now.

If what happened was so irrational

As everyone makes it out to be,

Why can’t we have our own irrational outburst to it?

Functioning after a failure is tough

Even for the best of us.

It is like learning to walk

With broken legs

Which aren’t set properly.

Extending the stick called sensitivity

Is more than welcome.

It might be not as grave as it sounds

But it certainly feels that way.

Outpouring of grief on virtual paper

Might never solve anything ,

But what else can one do really?

No one can control anything.

Except the person who gives me

Marks it seems. 

Samyuktha Semi Jayaprakash 

Confessions

 13^th may 2015

Wednesday

Forgive me father , for I have sinned. I have always wanted to go to a church and make grand confessions to a calm priest. But that never seems to work out in my favour. So in this mini diary entry , I register my random private thoughts – which are not sins per se and fit more into the heading of confessions. I want the inevitable someone who peeps into this diary to know that I'm not high , embarrassed or drunk – right now at this moment at least.

1.       I didn't learn Hindi not because of some big moral principle of solidarity for my state’s culture but because I was too lazy (still am) to learn a new language which didn't immediately affect my then near future . Although, necessity forced me to understand it somewhat eventually.

2.     

  I'm proud of being a ‘tomboy’ or the opposite of my general stereotype as a girl. And , that has led me to hide that I actually enjoy romantic movies much more than action ones.

3.     

 I'm ashamed of Surya as an actor nowadays. I fell in love with the guy who excelled in multiple offbeat yet catch roles. Either the star in him as eaten the actor completely or he has very bad taste in choosing his scripts. I just wish the old surya is back. I hate the post 2011 Surya. * That was tough to admit, even on paper* I still hope that his next movie will bring a turnaround. I have been waiting for 5 years now.

4.   

    I hate the Kolkata Knight Riders because of  a) Sharukh Khan b) their arrogance ( Cough cough Gambhir) and c) … because they are damn good as a team and the only serious threat to Chennai Super Kings overall.

5.      

I find it uncool to admit that I prefer Tamil music over English music. Harris Jayaraj any day . *sheepish grin*

6.    

   I don’t think I'm serious enough to be a lawyer. But I do know that I’ll get there eventually. If I start soon.

7.      

I’m a very self centered person and I really don’t listen when others talk about their life stories and that in turn makes me feel guilty because I impose my life story on everyone through this blog.

8.      

I can seriously can keep going. But sane enough to know that honesty is not often the best policy even in the seemingly safest places.

9.    

   I’m going to make this into a blogpost. 

 Final one - Nowadays , I enjoy Tv shows much more than books. And that is blasphemous in my world. So , forgive me lord for I have sinned.

So , in the spirit of confessions readers are requested to share some poignant truth about themselves :P can be pointless too. But an honest revelation!

An electrifying experience

I’m sharing my first internship experience for the #MyInternTheory activity at BlogAdda in association with Intern Theory.

It has been a long time since I wrote anything of substance in this space and I have myself to blame for not updating you’ll about the progress in my law life. Even when I do write , I hardly write on the central things of my life. So I’m dedicating this post to this barely mentioned aspect of my life.

MY FIRST INTERNSHIP 

Sometimes , it is very easy for some people to get disillusioned very easily. When you are studying a weirdly structured 5 year law course , it is very very easy to forget that you are indeed ‘studying’ to become a ‘lawyer’.  

In my college , the semester in itself is a chilling carnival of laziness ( at least to ones like me) – what with only 3 hours of actual lectures a day and stuff-  Hence , it is the internship / holiday time when we make hay in sunshine. After blowing off the first semester holidays on grounds of ignorance and lethargy , I was forced to do some productive activity in the summer of 2014. Even for me, 8 weeks was too long a time to do nothing.

Ok. Since, there is a small chance that some future law aspirants might read this  I’m gonna go stepwise and elucidate briefly on the details of the wonderful journey that was my summer internship.

Where did I apply?

Citizen Consumer and Civic action Group ( CAG) , Chennai. It is a NGO working on consumer , environmental and other civic issues like electricity which impacts all the citizens.

How did I apply?

I came to know of the NGO through my mother’s acquaintance and decided to give it a shot by sending my resume to recruiting head. She is a very friendly person, who immediately gave me guidance.

How long did it last?

This great learning curve lasted for a period of 6 weeks. I compensated for the holidays I took with another week :P

Working hours – 9:30 AM to 5:30 PM

What did I exactly do in a consumer & civic action forum?

This content is very exciting and varied. So I’m gonna make this the body of my post!

I was of the notion that CAG will involve consumer cases only and I didn’t even know what that meant exactly.

Clad in Formal white linen shirt and black pants , sweating due to the normal Chennai heat and not a very normal sense of apprehension , I approached the office. My ‘boss’ saroja ma’am immediately put me at ease with her friendliness and professional approach.

My 1st day of internship.

My very first task was to read the entire Consumer protection act , which is a pretty heavy law book. I think the purpose of the activity is to get an understanding of what consumer law is and moreover learning to be or at least acting unfazed in the face of gigantic books.

My very first Consumer complaint was on medical negligence suit charged on a doctor and I had to draft the formal complaint letter requesting the opposing part to co operate with us on settling the dispute. I drafted responses for few more such cases making ma’am note that my luck favored medical negligence. All the exposure to grey’s anatomy and house did come in handy :P

According to me, the most crucial thing I learnt in my CAG internship was about electricity. Tamil Nadu being very vulnerable in this sector and eccentric in its supply and distribution has made every consumer worried and somewhat conversant with its issues.

For starters I feel every resident of Tamil Nadu must know that the Tamil Nadu Electricity Board or the TNEB like we like to call it is actually divided into the TANTRANSCO and the TANGEDCO ,former for transmission and the latter for generation and distribution. The TNERC – electricity regulatory commission is the law making body though.

When tara ma'am first found me :P

All this sounded like pig latin to me until tara ma’am walked in. She is the head of the place and visits us weekly. I was a bit sluggish after the lunch break on my first week and I was scared stiff when she actually invited me to sit in on the TNERC meeting. This was the first meeting I ever attended and I was quite happy to just observe it. However, they wanted my views on the topic and even asked me to make a draft on the regulations to be amended or something like that. I was simply awestruck at the jargon in the beginning.

It took me a week to realize that I was working on the Tamil Nadu Electricity act and that the TNERC was proposing some amendments to the existing distribution code and that every consumer and interested party could send in their reservations and comments after notice of the intention to amend and the actual draft amendments are announced.

We talk about transparency but do we really pay interest when something is being shown and is asked to be done by us? I think not.

The amendments were on the power provided to water supply or motor pumpsets for agricultural consumers and being a city bred girl who has never visited a village properly , it was quite difficult for me to envisage the impacts the amendment could actually create on the farmers.

I learnt to compare distribution codes of Karnataka and Andhra which are quite elaborate on this topic and also ones of Gujarat and Punjab.

This entirely different task assigned to me, which seemed tougher than mandarin Chinese in the beginning, made me believe that I could learn things which I thought I was most incapable to learn.

I also got the chance to edit a bit of EmpowerTN , a journal on electricity and take minutes of TEGI – the Tamil Nadu Electricity Governance Initiative , a wonderful conference discussing all aspects of electricity problems in India today by several experts and organizations.

After TEGI/ with my co intern / last day :( 

While the consumer complaints I drafted was expected and the Ecommerce research I undertook on 20 Indian e-commerce companies ( Flipkart ,amazon , snapdeal included) using 58 criterions of consumer policy was more exhaustive but easier to comprehend and relate for me ;

 Electricity really brought me to life – it involved a lot of technical looking codes , scared me to death , I even failed to put proper work on some occasions! I’ve read many quotes which say stuff like do what scare you the most and didn’t think much of it. But once you are forced to do the unexpected , step outside that comfort zone – win or lose , you gain experience. Experience which makes you bold enough to try again and not make the same mistake twice.

And that is what I thank CAG for.

 For letting me play with electricity.

Thank you

Samyuktha Semi Jayaprakash