Mask on

 Following is a real conversation I had with my clerk on Covid and masks!

Me: Now that I have given you the money you asked for can you please complete the work on time? The clients are super anxious.

Devraj: Sure ma’am. Have faith in me.

Me: Okay. Bye!

(Me moving to the parking lot)

Devraj: Ma’am will you please take my advice on an unrelated matter. In work you are my senior but in life I am much senior to you…

Me: Sure sir.

(making a mental checklist of all the things I messed up in the last month)

Devraj: Don’t wear a mask ma’am. It is bad for your health

*ok that is not there on any sane checklist*

Me: (laughed nervously) what?!

Devraj: See my lips they have become allergic where the masks have cut.

Me: You must have tied in too tightly. Get one your size. Do you want to die of corona?!

Devraj: Ma’am don’t take it the wrong way but I don’t believe in corona. Have you seen it with your eyes.

Me: Sir! It is not something you can choose to believe in like god. It is science actual facts. Do you think our government which you admit is useless will go to such lengths to protect us from a non existent virus.

Devraj: It is all a scam ma’am. Just another way to take money from the poor and stop us from working.

Me: (trying to find a way to make him understand) Sir, I know the last one year has been very difficult income wise. But isn’t it the same reason you should be more cautious. I know you have 4 children to take care of. Wearing a mask is just the cheapest way to keep you safe from the virus.

Devraj: There is no virus ma’am. It is just common cold. People with asthma always have breathing problem. This is all unnecessary hype.

Me: Sir, my own mother had corona a few months back. She didn’t even have the symptoms you were talking of. But there were some parameters in her blood test like IL6 which were triple what they should be. If we had left it unchecked she had a definite chance of stroke or heart attack.

Devraj: (mumbling to himself) I didn’t read about this side effect anywhere.

Me: …..and even assuming corona is some hyped up common cold, if you enter a hospital be assured that you will be charged a bomb and you would have wished you wore that 20 Rs mask.

Devraj: but public hospitals..

Me: No buts. I know you are going to say government hospitals are free. I also know how you and a lot of people including my own grandmother feel that you won’t come back alive if you go into one. That is by the way very untrue. The corporation took excellent care of us when my mom was unwell and we all had to home isolate.

Full on monologue mode now

I know you have every reason to mistrust the institutions in this country. The politicians, the hospitals, the country. But believe me when I say corona is real. And Also if you don’t wear a mask in front of me or remove it while talking I will not give you any more work. Your belief should not hurt me!

Devraj: Okay ma’am. Since you are saying so much I will wear a mask from now on.

Me: Also wear it to cover your nose not your chin. I am saying this because I care about your life. You are moving in the Courts every day and meeting 100s of people who think like this. Protect yourself!

Devraj: Okay ma’am. Mask on from now on. Thank you.

Me: No I should Thank you!

 

NO

Dedicated to the man because of whom anonymous comments are disabled for all. And who is now commenting on a fake id now.

You asked me out 

I said I will rather die from the gout

You then claimed I wasn't clear 

and wanted me to come near 

If i could just open my ears 

and only hear

how much "I love you my dear"

You can call me a hoe 

but No means No.

I blocked you there

and to be honest 

what I thought was everywhere.

and now you have the gall to come HERE

my blog my sacred sanctuary

and comment without your name!

Have you no shame?

This is not a game. 

You may low

and lamenting full of sorrow

but a NO is still a NO

I report you to your boss

and you spew more lies

I am not Rachel

 you are definitely NO Ross &

we definitely were never friends

So please don't try to make amends.

No will always be No

and No you cannot call me a hoe. 

or a bro.

Yet.

Attention fellow humans!

We are all caught between that place

You know

The one in between being safe and sorry

The question is :-

 do we really want to be there?

Or has it been drilled in our heads through millennias

 to just be so?

IS that safety blanket really that cozy?

That we refuse to wake up from our catatonic states

And see what is happening around us?

Orange headed and clad leaders

Destroying democracy

And we don’t care because it doesn’t really concern us.

My house isn’t seized

My family isn’t separated

I don’t feel the heat of this so called fascist force

Yet.

Just keep snacking on the comfort of your perfect life

Till it all keeps crashing down

Kashmir just got bifurcated

Against the will of its people.

For us it is just a piece of land

To jizz jingoistically about

And shout bharat mata ki jai

Would you like you state being broken

Without your elected leaders having a say?

Oh it hasn’t come down to that surely

Yet.

That seems to one helluva comforter

Where can I order the same?

Written for PU's midweek motif "safety"

You can read on the Kashmir 370 issue here among other places

Seven Superstitions

  When I conducted a poll on my blog group for a suitable topic to write on, I was surprised that ‘superstitious beliefs’ emerged as a frontrunner. Of course there was the ever enticing ‘ How to flirt with girls: For men’ giving equal competition to it.Since I believe in Non obvious topics , I choose this one.

The poster girl of superstitions

You can find my How to not flirt with girls -> Here. You can find my ancient post on superstitions  Here. This post is a rehash of sorts of that post.

Before listing out some whacky superstitions let us ponder about the idea itself. Even the most unreligious and logical looking person sometimes hold pretty weird superstitions. The rationale seems to be  ‘why tempt fate?’. People used to the random uncontrollable pulls of life and nature try to bring some semblance of sanity with their own dose of insanity. Fear of the worst case scenario and the guilt which will definitely hit us if we proceed anyways and fail, also serve as pretty strong factors for holding superstitions.

I feel that superstitions or any habit for that matter are alright as long as they don’t impair our already dysfunctional lives. Like Harry duping Ron into believing he had drunk liquid luck , superstitions help us believe that all will be well and even if we failed it was not for want of effort on our part.  

That being said lets proceed with this semi listicle on Some Superstitions which I felt need to be mentioned.

     1)    

  Like the movie ‘chain kulii ki main kulii’ rightly showed, cricket is a fertile ground for superstitions to sprout from in our country. In this movie we have our protagonist who believes in his ‘magic’ bat only to know in the climax that it is he who is special. Cricket is a game of confidence and sledging and batting collapses, a little liquid courage did no one any harm. However, it is a different ball game for poor spectators who can sadly not control the cricketing proceedings. This leads to crazy situations when some people don’t watch the match they love for the sake of their team’s victory or banish others from watching it and sometimes make people stand in the exact positions when lady luck struck.

    2)     

Now imagine the rural scenario of agriculture dictated by the vagaries of nature. How can we be surprised that these people are the most superstitious? If I was a farmer in India I would probably wet the fields with my tears. It is no surprise that they tend to have the most ‘primitive’ superstitions like animal sacrifices and are the most vehement followers of faith and religion. You cannot survive without beliefs in these areas of activity.

   3)   

   That might explain why the most corrupt , cut a share to god in the name of faith. It is their own superstitious belief that they are making a deal with forces above. The tirupati coffers tell their own tales.

   4)      Talking of whacky superstitions , I read this book called ‘ When girls dare’ long back. One memory that stays clearly in my head when a girl really needs her violet color undie to win but it has gone for laundry! So what does she do? Of course wear a red and blue one and win the race :D

   5)     A surgeon's scrub cap

Only one purpose for this pic

    6)      Irksome ones which make no sense at all in this century :-

·         Wash hair at home after cutting hair even if they gave u a hair wash at the parlour ( borders on casteism if u ask me)       

·         Reach the house from the back door after coming back from a funeral. And bathe.

7 7)  

  Reserving the worst one for the last. Untouchability practiced in the name of menstruation in certain houses. Apparently a 3 day vacation for women from housework , it is actually very demeaning . You cannot touch anyone , the clothes and utensils you touch are impure and this practice silently continues to day in many households. While I do know some women who use it well to get out of social situations it is an absolutely disgusting superstition to still follow in the 21^st century. 

    What is the whackiest/ most ridiculous superstition you hold or have heard of?

                                                                                             

Rockstar

I Rebel

Don’t compromise

Non conform

Break Glass Ceilings

Only for it to shatter all over me

Cuts deeper than wound

I persist

Keep flying towards the star

My scars sing to the world

That I am a rockstar

And now I wave down at them

Because I dared to climb up. 

Divided we fall

Hi there. So it has taken me longer than usual to get the blog rolling this year. Starting the year with an old unpublished poem which fits the theme of unity :) Would absolutely love all feedback! So comment away.

A conjoined twin trying to escape another

Grunting in exertion and effort

As his flesh binds him to another

But not his spirit

A group of people deciding

What is best for themselves

And propagandising it as

What is best for those who they represent

And changing the contours of history

And geographical boundaries

By coercion and threat.

A group of disadvantaged people

Who are sick of the current system

And want to create their own system

To grow sick of.

The prince who abandoned his title

Subjects , wife and children

In the name of enlightenment.

Are all seceding. 

Physically

Politically and

Morally

But is anyone really succeeding? 

Written for Poet united's midweek motif  'unity'. 

Fakebook?

In this world so connected with technology,we have actually lost our real connections.Technology has actually surpassed human-interactions. Real time Conversations became texting and Feelings became status updates.What you feel? Share your views on it. 

So this is my first post for indispire , I hope to participate more often. #indispire149 has the above mentioned topic and I have decided to play Devil's advocate. ( the best type of advocate)

Disclaimer : All views are solely my opinion and all images are taken from google , I claim no rights over them.

So it boils down to this

Cliched intro and some irony 

In every century , every decade man (woman too?) has proven that he hates new change or technology. For , every innovation there is equal and strong opposition ( see how i mimicked newton there xD ) and a general sense of disdain over all things new. And that is precisely what is happening here when slightly older generations ironically go on social media and blogging platforms to state how we don't have 'real' connections anymore. 

Technology is good * blasphemy *

No change is so simplistic or negative , unless it is brought by Hitler maybe. Truth be told technology has helped us connect more than ever before. I am thousands of miles away from my family and connect with them at a moment's notice through skype. Isn't that wonderful? Yes , it is. But to admit that would mean that *gasp* technology is a GOOD thing. 

Beholder 

We all know that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and the use or abuse of technology solely lies on the hands of the operator. Blaming oneself instead of the medium requires a lot of introspection and courage and most of us lack that. 

Exaggerations

Also known as crying over nothing

At any given point of time , a person is genuinely close to give or take 20 people? When it is face to face we avoid these other 100's of people or don't have a chance to connect with them and really doesn't impact us. However , when all of these people are on our virtual screen we get a sense that they are our 'friends' and feel disappointed when they don't respond. 

External validation

The problem is that when we post 'status' updates we want people to react , we need some sort of validation and knowledge that we are not shouting ourselves hoarse to an empty stadium. Social media and technology to a certain extent shows us how tiny we are in this world. And that doesn't feel like progress to many. 

Use to build up and not create 

But it's how we take it. If we are using Facebook solely to make new friends when we don't have any 'real' friends , it is not going to really help. There is no substitute for real human connection and organic personal experience as opposed to artificial , manufactured attempts to foster friendship. If we use sites like Facebook to build on a date or catch up with friends we already know , rest assured that it is 'real'.

Fakeness

Most of the 'fakeness' can be attributed to the forced sups? and nms uttered when one wants to be left alone and the other clearly doesn't get it. If you have your core group of friends and you regularly share updates on your life , you aren't fake you are just sharing it to wider circle who aren't used to the idea of instant sharing and sensory overload. 

Life goes on

An important point to be noted is that it is our real life relationships that impact our virtual ones. If our 'real' life is in order , I don't think we will even be complaining about our virtual ones. So people moaning about social media ruining your lives , take a deep look at the mirror and face the music. 

I also wanted to let you guys know that sometimes ( not always) you tend to lovely relationships with technology and social media too. I know a lot of bloggers and friends this way and Fakebook is not all that fake if you make an effort and you are yourself. In fact relative anonymity helps your true personality come out. The problem is the nature of the personality sometimes. So let's not blame the technology and learn to use it productively?

Thank you

Samyuktha Semi Jayaprakash

A dollop of darkness and a drop of sunshine.

It has been a long while my friends since I wrote anything in this space. Never has an injury to my right hand (which I have had one too many of ) affected me as much as now. I am impressed with the hunger I feel to write.

I used to be called callous, insensitive

Was never happier.

The minute I started to give a damn

The tragedy started.

The tragedy called life

Where people you used to love

Became completely different persons

So much so that

You think you wanted a disclaimer

That things could go horribly wrong!

But maybe this is the disclaimer

For the next time.

Writing all this, I look in the mirror

And see a completely different person

Than the years before.

Role reversals

Shape shifting

By the tendrils of time.

I want to be who I was

And also who I am.

A dollop of darkness and a drop of sunshine.

Aloof and caring at the same time.

How to achieve all this

When I can’t even tie my shoe laces on? 

And to my poets united friends. The post came before the motif. So the explanation maybe a bit contrived. So my take is that this piece is an appreciation of the effect of time upon our lives. 

To Srimathi

To sudden spurts of unconditional love which truly does conquer all.

You saw the before and after

Through my thick and thin

Blood

Milk and

Water

You are my little tiny tim 

You excel in liking

Every little thing I do.

But nonchalantly overlooking

The very same things too

Worrying is in your DNA

Coolness is your USP

The best mom ever to me

You will always be. 

associated  with poet's united motif for this midweek - conquest 

Ordinary together

(photo taken from google)

From the bottom drawer of misery

I sprang

From the top one of tyranny

You did.

And  the middle drawer of mediocrity

We accepted as ours.

For there is nothing more comforting

Than a thin veil of ordinary

In this inordinately trifle yet infinitely intricate turf we call our earth.

Stay

So a regular reader and friend asked me to write a piece on romantic relationships. A more specific one actually but my mind meandered to this. Purely fictional for intents and purposes. An artistic piece if you can call it that

To think that

the only real relationship I ever had

was

the one I never had.

Beat my chest in pride,

every time I did the courageous karate

in the name of romance 

with almost every other person 

except you. 

I could feel your patient gaze

silently sear through my back 

as I strutted around town. 

For you know for who I was  am.

A genuine hypocrite

Afraid of All. 

Of your gentle embrace wrapping me up

in the near future, 

actually play that reel in my head quite often.

Till I get giddy in fact. 

You are my handsome secret.

Of me having to confront you 

about these stupid feelings which engulf me

and make me powerless , 

you will never.

You rock at this waiting game

Not a level playing field actually.

Of you saying 'no', 

For Fate and Circumstances

spare no one. 

Of you saying 'yes' . 

For Fate and Circumstance

spare no one. 

I didn't want my epic romance 

to be tarnished by the all too real life,

Twas very pretty and pristine

So I never took the chance. 

Cautious for a change. 

There was no element of doubt

about our commitment , 

only time when unspoken words made

so much more meaning 

than the spoken ones. 

Our eyes duelled in anger 

each time we tried to dull our love

by truly moving on from each other, 

So we pretended to fall in love

with likeable people we never liked. 

I am thinking of you 

and you are thinking of me. 

Toxic flames and fumes 

made of our mutual feelings

paralyse me forever. 

I know it may sound sad

but it is real

And that is all that matters.

Give love a chance! 

What about true happiness? 

The lucky ones mutter under their breath. 

Passion would eat us alive , 

Would 

Could 

Should 

I don't want to live in the aftermath

So in this mental cove 

I am going to stay.

Beginner's Guide to Virtual Stalking

 Unfortunately, a lot of people know this already. However , they confuse it with 'love' and 'romance'. In the light of  recent murders and suicides involving the social media, I feel compelled to volunteer my opinion, Reading is completely at your discretion. 

" Reading is completely at your discretion. " Stalkers don't understand the meaning of this line. 'Discretion' has no place in their dictionary. Or does 'consent'. 

So steps to become a stalker. 

1) Create an anonymous profile with a celebrity's / baby's picture on it to show off your innocence/ attractiveness. Mostly , it doesn't produce the desired effect though. It looks very shady , like the person is trying to not reveal their original identity and that never leads to meaningful relationships.

Vijay anna is famous

Ok , this works.

2) Add as many profiles of opposite gender as possible. When you send a 100 requests at least 10 get accepted and voila! suddenly you have 10 mutual friends with the next 'friend' you are adding , misleading them to think they somehow know you or that you are somehow not a danger.

No gain

3) Start chatting with the 'friends'. This is the most fun part. Some guys start with the 'thank you for the accept' and ' your dp looks very nice' routine which quickly evolves into 'give me your number'.

 Opposite genders ( who am i kidding? GIRLS) , Please NEVER give your number. Once you give your number , you can't avoid round the clock nuisance , your location , privacy everything gets forsaken. Other guys for reasons unknown to mankind , keep sending 'hi' , sometimes 5 times a day and never go past 'sup?'  ' what did you do?' and never volunteer information about themselves and still think they are not creepy.

Took it from google

4) Then we come to the tipping point. As a stalker ( yes , going back to original mode) , it gets plenty frustrating when a girl doesn't reply to your heartfelt ( yet having no substance) messages or doesn't give you her number, That bitch! So you either call her names , abuse her for adding you in the first place , if she had given you personal info threaten to use it against her and the best of all , threaten to throw acid on her.

Hell hath no Fury

5) If you're an actual jerk  hurt lover, you carry out your threats.

Being a Facebook member for more than 7 years , all of what I typed has been endured by me except the 5th point. One guy actually threatened to throw acid on my face cz I dared to not give him my number. Can't reveal the chat because I blocked and reported and him and I have fantasy that he miraculously vanished from existence.

'Never add people you don't know' - is an often given advice and can be understood only the hard way. I am not saying all guys are stalkers. In fact , I have a lot of friends who I got to know through social media who are nice people. But there is a high risk of a lot of these types of people also when you add every person who sends you a request, 

• Add a person who you sure atleast 50 mutual friends with 
• Ask a close mutual friend about them just before adding them, No harm done, 
• Add people who share a common interest with you like blogging , cinema etc. 

As for the 'stalkers' reading this. I know most of you aren't even intending to be stalkers and come off as ones because you don't know how to express yourselves. How about having an original profile , having genuine conversation and respecting the girl's wishes for once? You will have a better success rate . Trust me. 

P.S - If a girl is clearly not interested in getting to know you , leave her alone. You deserve better. Respect yourself.

Disclaimer - All pics taken from the net. I didn't take or create anything. Merely for aesthetic value.