The F word.

Failures rock.
A year back , no one would have believed that I believed this. Now , people at least try to listen to me when I try to convince them of this. Baby steps.

It is easy to believe in something when it is only an ideology and you don't have to experience it in action. That's why most people are hypocrites. They don't want to be but usually the gap between concrete action and lofty thoughts swallows 'em up. I always believed that I didn't care about failures and it is a stepping stone to success and etcetera etcetera. Only when I experienced it , I could take a proper look.
Initially it sucks , pains a lot more than you think. Nobody likes change and when things don't go your way it is highly frustrating , stress inducing. Everything feels like falling apart . The same welcoming world of yesterday seems to be menacing . But these so called failures are actually good for you and I will tell you why.

What are these failures anyway?
Society manufactured standards of practice which every person is forced to follow by pressures of socialization such as family , community and organised institutions. However , cool we like to be and not care , every human being lives in a community and social disapproval goes a long way in shaping one's attitude.
Okay , I realise i sound like my 11th standard sociology textbook. Dry , abstract and boring.
Let's lighten up with cliched examples. Eg. The 10th standard board exams are a redundant concept. Nobody should care about those marks. But , most people care about it because these marks are used by families as indicators of intelligence and social prestige. I know a certain family member who makes a list of all the kids she knows who are writing their board exams that year and calls them to check their marks. This inordinate amount of curiosity is the reason why kids run to America lol
What I have realised is most of the failures are not even failures. It is such a strong word with so much stigma attached. They are minor setbacks to one of the possible routes through which you can attain your possible goal.
So hereon I'm gonna use the word setback.

So why does failure setback rock?

It makes you think! I wouldn't be writing this original content on my personal property if i didn't suffer a setback. Usually when one attains what they want a tad too easily , all the problems get swept under the carpet. We just want to enjoy the fruits of our victory that we ignore the weeds. Till they grow long enough to coil around our necks. Minor setbacks make us trim our gardens better ,i.e , keep us well aware and in control of our weaknesses, I would rather lose my way in the play offs and peak during the knockouts rather than have a perfect run in the leagues and choke due to my deficiencies in the finals. 

Usually people who are used to success , define themselves with it. When they lose , that's why it hits them hard. They feel incomplete without it. They even loathe themselves and hate the version which doesn't have it. Accepting and loving who you are is very important and that is not going to happen with the constant halo of success hovering around you. Your happiness should never rely on a contingency . Happiness should be found even in the darkest of places and shouldn't be concentrated in one holy spot. It is the journey and not the destination, I mean sure , if the destination is fun that is definitely an added bonus, 

People have a very narrow definition of success and planned road drawn towards it. Life is never going to let that happen and that's what makes it so interesting. Nobody can control fate and people used to success know that in their heads but never feel that truly until the door is abruptly closed on their faces. It makes you more creative and takes you to paths never travelled before to reach that goal. So it keeps you fresh. 

So failures make you a better at what you do , makes you love yourself for who you are , makes your happiness more intrinsic and makes you creative and understand the uncertainty of life, It is the best teacher there is. 

Most importantly it makes you

STRONGER to take the next blow and probably stand up and deliver the next punch. 

And shows you the ones who truly care. Because life is about those people. You need someone to share all that hyped up success with,

(P.S - All pictures are borrowed)

So yes. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't think of what might happen if x goes wrong. Something can always go wrong. Just give it your best shot and move on. Enjoy your failure , like you enjoy your success, There is nothing derogatory about losing. 

IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. 

But , Have you?

The day has come

where Meredith is without Derek

Castle is without beckett 

and there is no sex scene in game of thrones 

I repeat ,

and there is no sex scene in GAME OF THRONES!

The day has come , 

Sachin is seen without his bat 

his perfect persona somehow incomplete ; 

csk is without a match

its heart still beating 

in the million hearts of its faithful fans

The day has come 

you are finally out of college 

All those million dreams 

you got in bed early for , 

have suddenly become real.

Point is , the day has arrive 

But , Have you?

Be careful what you wish for , 

they so often say.

When you shut your eyes

a bit too tightly 

you tend to get removed 

                                                                          far away from reality 

You open your eyes 

sudden glare of reality 

overpowering your dreamy eyes

into tears of submission.

Wearing the cooler of attitude 

through the seemingly 

eternal summer of reality

can shade your perceptions forever 

in almost irreparable ways.

Only time will tell, 

if you can outlast your

current state of affairs 

But Don't 

be too happy if you do.

cz the winter hasn't arrived yet 

but maybe this time 

you can arrive first. 

The Moral Unicorn

So I started watching breaking bad . All my shows were on a hiatus and it was to time to ride this bandwagon out.  I am on the second season of the episode after trying to watch it for like 2 weeks. This proves

a)      I am finally growing up , working more and slowing down on the number of episodes I’m watching.

b)      The show is boring.

While it does show the evolution of a boring chemistry teacher who suddenly facing imminent death after contracting cancer ( he should have contracted a midlife crisis if you ask me) to a full blown drug dealer  to earn money for his family.

I find it incredibly stupid that the show glorifies the production and distribution and cooking of meth when the protagonist clearly had a chance to borrow money from his family and friends. But then , there would be no show – no drugs , blood or pee shots (which the director really loves for some reason)

I want to sound cool and say stuff like ‘ I’m the one who knocks’ ( I’m yet to see all that ) and maybe I’m prematurely giving up on the show. But , how are you supposed to root for someone who lies to everyone around him (who he supposedly loves) and kills people to assert that he is a drug lord?! We’re supposed to feel bad for him because he has cancer, but not the 3-4 he has already killed in the short span of the show. There is simply no justification for his crimes. Dexter Morgan , the serial killer at least had a past. Walter White is simply a greedy man who couldn’t deal the hand, life gave him, in a scrupulous way.

I know it is all just fiction and the show does show the downside of the drug life and all. But everytime someone says ‘Heisenberg’ with admiration or ‘ I’m the one who knocks’ it causes mental pain which I am simply registering here.

The show does evoke a point of interest in me though – consisting of moral turmoil. Where do you draw the line of what is wrong or what is right?

What makes you draw the line?

What the law dictates or what helps you sleep at time?

the laxman rekha :P

I think every person has to and does come up with this laxman rekha by himself. Being a law student , I know that there is scant regard paid to laws in this country. The culture , community or interest group of a person build his moral compass more often than not. But nothing shapes a mind like personal experience and attitudes.

For example , I think adultery which is a criminal offence according the Indian penal code is a personal choice which should end a marriage but not put you in jail.

But , for a person whose parent or spouse indulged in one the attitude might be very different.

More often than not , only when you are in a rough predicament , you know what you real feelings towards a subject are. There is a fundamental gap between who we think we are and the decisions we take and a mode of self preservation shoves this cognitive dissonance to the fore.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I do not like cheating when I attempted a competition recently. I always prided myself of being morally fluid and ‘ cool’ taxonomies like that. However when the beat dropped and my moment came , I didn’t want to take the shortcut to success. How do you enjoy the fruits of your labour when you didn’t work the farm? I asked myself. I am aware that feeling morally superior is also a certain kind of rush.

We’re living in a world where pesticides and fertilizers have become a norm and ‘organic’ vegetables have become an exception.

When we learn professional ethics , our teacher reads the value we have to study for the exam and then goes on to explain how it is useless in everyday life. Being ‘good’ is increasingly being looked down upon . People with morals are being looked at as unicorns and hardwork and genuine knowledge is overlooked for shallow grades and ‘street smartness’ which roughly translates to being a thug.

How to do a task without getting your hands dirty? Is my question of the month to you guys. How to prosper in a world where pulling someone down seems easier than climbing up?

That is why breaking bad scares me. How can killing and cooking meth be cool things? Are we all fundamentally good or bad? Is self preservation or fundamental goodness the characteristic of a mind?

Even in Indian films being selfish or being a criminal is being promoted nowadays over being a good human being who helps others. It is not a question of breaking the law but doing a wrong – hurting another individual. Am I the only unicorn out here? Or are there more of us just scared to voice out , in the fear of being looked down upon?

Please speak up in the comments column

Imagine Mountains

What do mountains mean to me?

Eons back! 

At my lowest they are insurmountable challenges that I look up at , with more awestruck worry than inspired determination. Being a fretful diva , I tend to feel that these imaginary mountains are firmly embedded on my tired shoulders.

I hate their stupid hairpin bends , which give my already motion sick tummies a valid reason to unburden themselves. I have a distinct memory of myself , a 7 year old shutting my eyes very tightly whilst hugging my dad’s lap as the auto went up the mountain. Like the tightness and resultant blindness has anything to do with my body’s capacity to deal with the stress of travel!

Oh how I hate the mountains.

Then I climbed a hill. By myself – 2 years back? Symbolism and travelling aside , they do have a plus. They have peaks!

The exhilaration you get when you reach the top , the air feeling fresher than it was a couple of feets ago.

The panaroma! Everything looks small from the top. It gives you perspective , humility – which I lack in abundance.

If you can feel that up a hill , you can definitely feel it up a mountain right?

I don't know why I trekked but I am glad I did. 

But Mountain is also the dude from Game of thrones who killed Oberyn Martell!

So maybe I have mixed feelings about mountains.

I scaled a huge mental mountain today. Scaled one without giving up , a bit battered and bruised and I am definitely feeling the high xD but what happens after this? Climbing down can be slippery , definitely if you’re taking the surfboard called fun down it. Imageries aside, being a beach person I wanted to thank all the mountain people who helped me in this climb. I didn’t necessarily enjoy it but it was an adventure nonetheless. Thank you.

Hope you all enjoy the high too. Think about that if you’re climbing a steep path yourself.

Okay I will stop.

Bye!  

So what do mountains mean to you? 

Fairy Tales turned Nightmares

A guest post by the supremely talented Tanushree Nigam. Do check out her blog here. 

The world where Jasmine is forced to migrate as Aladdin has been bombed to shreds by Alibaba and his forty thieves.

The world where Hamlin lies in ruins because Snow White and Cinderella’s evil step mothers have been directing drones at innocent Pied piper’s, who are now swaying little children away by the sweeter-than-drones music of Jihad,

whilst Snow White and Cinderella are busy posting pouting selfies on Insta.

The world where the seven dwarves moved to the city because their forest has been long turned to fuel the factories which they now are employed in, factories run by Sauron, Dark Lord of Mordor.

The world where Rapunzel never fails to put on her red riding hood to cover her luscious locks, lest radical wolves devour her because she was ‘asking- for-it’.

The world where Beauty married the Beast disguised as a Prince, and continues in the abusive relationship to save her Sleeping Beautiful Aurora afflicted with sleep disorders due to substance addiction.

The world with a Narnia with witches rampant, lions extinct and the wardrobe under the stairs where the boy who barely lives, grew up too soon to believe in magic after the war took away both his parents.

The world where apples are poisonous, Hansel and Gretel are sodomized and murdered by cannibalistic humans not witches, where ducklings are objectified and called ugly on the basis of colour and the little mermaid perished in an oil spill.

The world with fairy tales turned nightmares.