Kashmir

                        Triumph or disaster?

Is it what I feel?

What I’m left with at the end?

A thing or an emotion?

A subtle sense of pride

Of besting the beast?

Or the harrowing pain

Of the tear in my stomach

Leaking more pain than I ever could handle?

Is it the result?

Or my reaction to the result?

What if I won Kashmir but

Lost the election?

Is it universal or personal?

A zero sum game

I am a hero sometimes.

It is how I sleep at night.

It can be neither

but actually it is both. 

                                        

The Anemic Hemophiliac

 prompt 'bleeding heart' 

                                 

                  

Bleeding heart

Don’t let it start

It will never stop,

Till it one day drops.

Then please bring out the harps

and the orchestra and what not.

 

Nature or nurture?

Just cannot escape these vultures

Feasting on the flesh of my heart

At one point I just let it to rot

Forgetting they were cannibals after all. 

 

So better to bleed boldly

My love and care and worries

Along with the hemoglobin

Towards humanity & you

Than zombify myself   

And project coolness

Only to be lifted on a coffin

On the way out.

 

 

My

Bloody heart beats for you &

Bleeds for humanity

Bends down for humility &

Bombards for atrocity

 

Blood is a sign of oxygen pumping

Bathing out our concern in a 

Bright red colour.

 

Pain is a sign of growing

Past the vultures

Who are a sign of success.

Keep feeling

One day it will lead to fruitful action.

 

 

 

Enough is a Feast

 

Every human being needed to eat, stay safe and warm and be away from harm. Homogenity drove us together. Then a problem of surplus ensued and greed followed so much so that civilization had to be formed with rules and laws and punishment. Groups of people who all had the same needs wanted more land to thrive, another group of people with the same needs fought them back. War ensued frequently , what was once simple was never once more that. Power breeds corruption and so now the flocks of people had to face attacks from outside AND civil wars inside.

The drudgery of daily life and the meaninglessness of it all drove the common man to hedonistic temptations. Soon the pursuit of wants over needs became the motto of the society. By indulging in these short term gains, the search for self actualization was lost till it was too late to search anymore. Only terminal illness or major disaster brought any reflection at all. Whole nations just wanted more instead of loving less.  

We started differentiating with each other more, even when people went communist there were no equals. Repressed anger exploded societies. Human beings now have naturally selected within themselves to differentiate between their own species. Hierarchy has existed at every institution always to the detriment of the perceived weaker sections.

Moments of individual kindness and collective crisis of the conscience are rare but what keeps this species afloat. Even when in an era of purported peace all we do is turn a blind eye to every other atrocity so that it won’t burn our bubbles to shreds. War or peace, we need to be conscious and content more.

Geography tests

I haven’t written in over a month and I sincerely apologize for that. To make up for this often committed mistake of not writing in SSS , I am going to confess to some of the (small) crimes I have committed in the past.

< Disclaimer: Personal Post coming up >

I know I should be writing about the increasing terrorist activity or the omnipresent rape fear, but I choose to overlook these topics (mostly because better writers have written awesome articles about them already) and am going to choose GEOGRAPHY TESTS instead.

Very Random Right? Well, expecting a sane topic from an insane person is well … insane.

Everyone has an Achilles heel , a special subject that they hate so much that they would rather burn in hell than study it for the test next day. Most people hate math , I also hate(d) math . But coming to think of it, I hated GEOGRAPHY the most. History was awesome;, math dumbfounding ; Biology insanely difficult ; BUT nothing was so irrationally hateable like innocuous looking geography.

I mean who wants to study about the rocks, climate , pressure, river delta estuaries or even longitude latitudes? I learnt so much, but hated every bit. I used to read the most amount of story books during geography. The teachers were actually pretty good but boy! I hated that subject.

(Don’t) worry. I am (not) going to ramble about my hatred and be done with it. Nahi saar, I am going to give two awe some/ful anecdotes about 2 amazing geography exams I wrote in school time.

THIS IS THE STORY OF WHY I DON’T CARRY WATER TO EXAMINATION HALLS ANYMORE.

1.    1   Water on the desk

Sounds innocent enough. But nothing is ever innocent  in semiland, my children J . I was in 8^th standard I think, the class representative – apostIneverdeservedbutdidnoworkanywayssochill- and had this geography test. Our teacher was Nirmala miss, an old but smart teacher who would sit at the back of the class so that copying was out of the picture entirely.

The fundamental duty of the class rep is to develop class rapport and I found that working towards an underlying common cause would incite us towards that direction. Henceforth, I decided to help my classmates copy. Out of 34 people , at least 30 hadn’t studied , I had studied enough to fill the pages but many were planning unsafe methods to copy.

Our class 8A , we were a pack. We made teachers cry in packs , we chewed gum in packs and we decided to commit this crime as a pack. Cheating in tests is a crime which I have later come to despise but as a 13 year old class student who hated geography , I had no qualms about what I was just about to do.

So how can the entire class copy without getting caught? We can’t all whisper – 30 whispers cause a scream , we can’t all keep the notebook underneath , even if we had a plan – we can’t all ever agree in unison .

I tried dividing the class into 4 zones – the quiet zone , nerd zone and the last 2 were the mad cheater’s zone. Whatever elaborate plan I made up , it all boiled down to the problem that the teacher sat in the back bench and could see the papers we kept below in the desk. Creating bits was logistically impossible and if everyone wasn’t satisfied , somebody would rat us out.

So , I poured water on the backbench and added a dirty paper and banana peel to it.

That was the most popular thing I did as a class rep and it had to go undocumented L :P

1. 2.       Water on the paper
2. 
   

This was when I was around the same age: 12-13 . Although , I showed criminal tendencies as mentioned above , I was pretty dumb. To prove the case in point , I am going to bring back to memory this painful incident which ruined my entire exams - almost.

We have established my particular dislike for geography already , so it isn’t entirely unsurprising that I didn’t have much knowledge of it on the exam day. However , I forgot to mention this – I am a nerd. On the exam days at the least :P

I hate leaving blank spaces in my answer, probably because I know I’ll never come back to fill it , as I never have the time for it. The exact same thing happened . For the first question on the first page of the first fricking examination! Even though, I answered other answers properly , it irked me that the first page was half blank and first impression matters.

So , I poured water on my first page.

I still haven’t figured out why I DID THAT. A blonde moment , you could call it -_- My thought process was this : If I pour a small amount of water on the page , it would be a legit reason to have omitted that space.

I forgot that

• 1)      I was a MESSY KLUTZ ,
• 2)      That water has absorbing qualities
• 3)      My bottle had a very big mouth
• 4)      I used gel pen.

So the water leaked on to all the pages I wrote afterwards and my mainsheet was a wet nightmare. I had to rewrite the entire paper in 20 minutes and the invigilator wasn’t ready to give me even 2 extra minutes.

So ladies and gentlemen, please don’t pour water on your paper . Maybe it was the karma of pouring water on my desk which led me into that disaster of a decision.

And that is why I don’t carry water to an examination.

yours thirstily ,

Semi

After August 15th

We have all studied history at primary levels at least.

Oh no. You don't get to yawn and leave today. Today is the day I have decided to write - after 3 months- So , Please read me out . 
Everybody seems to hate history and me being an exception to this rule, hates the current state of affairs very much. So much, that I started questioning some haters why they hate the topic so much. One of the standard responses is that why should we care about something which happened so long back? England is not ruling us anymore and we're even beating them in cricket now :P
While I can go on an on about how past experiences are invaluable to current scenarios , how history tends to repeat itself and how the mere fact that the area I was born in or the wooden table I am using is so soaked in history that I often can't help but get intoxicated with the romanticism of it all or how there are so many different civilizations which had so much in common and difference , I am not going to.
In this post we're going to address the problem of modern history. Modern history? That word sounds very oxymoronish to be true.

One of the major problem with our education system of history in India is that there seems to be a total disconnect from what we study and what we see today.  While it is pretty cool that Mahatma Gandhi walked miles to collect salt from the British and that we stunk of socialism in the independence era , nothing seems to correlate with what we see today.
The freedom fighting politicians of the yore seem to be substituted by blatantly corrupt ones of today. While we read about socialism and Nehru everywhere , we hear more about FDI in retail and the far reaching tentacles of globalization and capitalism.
Indian history to us Indians seems to end with August 15 , 1947  when India achieved independence. The very few who elect political science for high school or college degree learn a ridiculously more amount about our country.

We're stuck in that moment

Isn't it time to acknowledge that what happened for the 68 years afterwards to be also included as history? Not an entire subject , that would be asking too much. But at least 2-3 chapters covering important topics like the Kashmir issue , language reorganization , 1991 liberalization reforms which certainly changed the history of the country.
If pundits are unwilling to label it as history then it is about time that we give importance to political science as a social science. I was literally flabbergasted when a very well learned friend of mine, who studies architecture currently, told me that she didn't know Pakistan and Bangladesh were the same country before 1970's . :O
And it gets worse. When i told others about her ignorance , I found more from unexpected quarters.
This problem rises in significance when we take the rate of change happening around us into consideration. Every decade sounds like a different era and with the rate of growth of population and science and technology being equally precariously scary , it is time we read history according to modern contexts.
India has stepped into a new era or believes it has stepped into a new era by electing Narendra Modi into power. This is the first time a non congress alliance has got such a huge mandate and we can be pretty sure that the lawmakers would want to 'rewrite' history soon enough. Citizens must be offered an unbiased version of the riots , partition and violence which has been plaguing the country.

Things to be added in a social science textbook :

1. Partition - No point acting like it never happened. While independence was a huge victory , the partition was quite the opposite. The fact that Mahatma Gandhi never celebrated the independence is conveniently ignored. Some light on this hasty yet historic blunder would remove some prejudice we carry about our Pakistani neighbors. Both sides suffered . Sick of all the pakistani hate posts. Half the people don't know why/who/how we got separated but carry the hate though :/ 
2. Kashmir - Before yelling that article 370 is unconstitutional Indians must be taught ( unbiased ly ) how  really Kashmir was created. While demanding that Kashmir be ours is truly patriotic , learning what exactly happened before harping ill informed propagandized news is truly more worthwhile and patriotic . 

   

   Too beautiful to suffer :(

3. Hindi - There surely must be a lesson on the reorganization of states according to languages , the tensions and unity it created. The language politics , the true current status of hindi - the official and not the national language of India. 

A crash course on this would really enlighten many of us on current issues . Unlike science , every person can have an opinion on social science topics and well informed chapters on current historic problems would at least brighten us enough to not sound like illiterate buffoons on social media . 

Thanking you for the patience if you did read me out

Samyuktha (Semi) Jayaprakash 

Let's make Wishes outta Airplanes ~

 If there was  ever a magazine on making mind-castles like the milk-woman , I would star in its cover with a huge pot of milk! If only there was a machine that would translate thought into action – I would use it to make more blog posts. Such lameness .. Much wow. I am too idealistic to live in this 21^st century.

I wanna chill in the 14^th century with all the renaissance men of Rome. A world where thinking was a legit job. But then I would have to be a man to express my thoughts and lets face it .Sexistly speaking , a man’s mind is too boring. I wanna be a woman of the 21^st century chilling in the summer of England  living amidst  an intellectual atmosphere of 14^th century with my iPad and selfie manufacturing cell phones.  *fake sighs dramatically*

What has Pune done to me? :/

If you didn't get the obvious hint already. This gonna be a disjointed rambling with a risky disregard for grammar and love for randomness.” Oh no , not again!” you might scream. But you see , I hardly post stuff in this space and Yajur yaja Jayaprakash – the creature claiming to be my sibling – is blogging and the remote possibility that he will become more popular than me, urges me to write. However , the aforementioned urge is not passionate or intrinsically motivating enough for me to explore new dimensions of my writing.

It is the holidays after all!

is the middle of my middle name like chandler would say xD

Hardly feels like one though. That’s what happens when you have college for only 3 hours – you get used to laziness,in even more than usual amounts. Also , the fact that I have a cool internship in citizen consumer and civil action group makes it a working holiday. Trust me , medical negligence is awesome fun , still the heart pines for endless sleep and jobless mediocrity.

A kid used to doing nothing all the time finds it difficult to cope in a world where she is perceived to be productive and busy and IS in fact productive and busy.

Talking about perceptions , sociology has ruined life for me. All of us do everything for social approval. Just open Facebook! People  doing the craziest shizz to get a few likes. (y) When I share a link of this post , there will be 10-20 guys who would reply that they liked my post -_- Read it or leave it , children. Appreciate my work , read it , give me feedback Don’t like it.

And then there are those who are affected by selfitis – the disease of taking too many selfies. Seriously , I don’t know what is so great about selfies , being an addict myself. I think human beings just want to keep falling for something , keep getting addicted , over involved in anything and everything and then crash and burn.

I know we’re all gonna die someday. Maybe tomorrow , may be day after tomorrow or maybe 76 years after that. Point is , I have lost the point while quoting statistics.

even marx likes selfies

Actually the point really is that we’re all moving in a reckless pace.Not talking about athleticism here ( you see i'm a cbse physical education topper but i have never ran in my life - even when a dog chased me )Reading inferno by Dan Brown gives you only the demographic dimension of that. Technologically , culturally, politically , economically , socially ,  we’re just motoring along in a freakish pace. It is not ‘progress’ necessarily. There is so much generation gap between all ages ,that it scares.My grandparents and even my parents seem to be from the paleolithic era to me and I AM ancient to the creature claiming to my sibling! :O

The pace scares me.

And excites me.

We get to see so many changes in a span of few years. Writing history is surely gonna be a monumental task for the future generations .

CRY CRYCRY

Chuck all the philosophy. Have you watched grey’s anatomy? It has captured my heart like a boyfriend never will. In a span of a decade the characters in that hospital have died in a bus accident , shooting ,helicopter crash , car accident , power outage , broken LVAT wires etc. Setting aside the fact that it is heavy exaggerated , we must realize that viewers need THAT much drama to keep them hooked.

Attention spans are worse than poor. Maybe that is why I am jumping topics like the kid who jumps trains in subway surfers. Why do we get bored so easily? :O

I’ll surely die of boredom ( and religion) in 14^th century Rome. I need the adrenaline rush of 21^st century.  Maybe the future will be a mix of all the factors I keep dreaming of.

#wishfulthinking 

and wait. Lemme take a selfie ^_^ 

Puppy love

I’ve been fooling around for way to long now. Ideas for a blogpost have been pouring from my brain ever since it realized the sheer magnitude of boredom I have to suffer during lectures xP So, time for a post served up straight from my heart <3

I miss my dog .

It is funny because just about a year back – I didn’t own a dog.

And I used to hate dogs . Okay hate is a strong word – I couldn’t tolerate dogs – I found them very needy.

Then something changed.

The dog in the basket apparently grew up :')

My brother , who emanates doggie love ever since he has been born , came home carrying a heavy basket. Attracted immediately, I demanded to know what was contained in that basket. And to my surprise it was the cutest puppy which was just a few days old :’) and thankfully it wasn’t gonna stay in our place for long. It was to be adopted by my cousin much to my brother’s dismay.  His lifelong thirst for doggie love wasn’t going to be quenched just yet.  And mine was just about to begin!

poser

One fine day during the summery month of June ( okay all the months are summery in chennai -_- :P ) I heard a bark from MY backyard. What was a dog doing in our backyard? :O Okay , maybe I am overreacting here. Our house being a million years old , attracted all species of insects and animals , stray cats purposefully strutting about the hallway wasn’t very uncommon . Still! Stray dogs barking from the backyard simply took it to a whole new level.

Initially everybody at home ( sans my brother) treated the dog ( which would inevitably be named laika ) with disdain and it was quite obvious that we would chase it out soon. Yaja (bro) didn’t even demand for a dog because he knew the answer to that futile question already , “ How can you take care of a dog , when you cannot take care of yourself in the first place?”. However Laika proved to be a beacon of perseverance , clawing and digging her way back to our backyard and after a point we simply gave up chasing her.  Reluctantly she was enlisted into our mad family .

I must describe her here. Not beautiful in the quintessential way , Laika is ravishingly eyecatching with her inhuman energy and innate naughtiness, which is very contagious . A total ragamuffin – she looked like a little sheep when she joined us. Black spots merge with her white coat seamlessly and she had very silky hair for a stray . She is the first love of my life.

My baby

During the early days , I was very hesitant to make any contact with her. My toleration level permitted me to just about share a room with her. However Laikoos has a natural gift of winning over people she really wants to win over. With her insistent love and boyish charm , she slowly entered seeped into the rock which was my heart . Times I have spent with her since are pure magic and now I can only relive them as memories. Thankyou college L

Owning a pet IMO, fundamentally alters you as a person. Read Dean Koontz’s ‘ A big little life’ , a story of his dog trixie and the various meanings he attaches to her and the role she plays in his life. All that unconditional love makes you feel rightly undeserving and surely irks you enough to strive for improvement. Life becomes a little bit rosier, much more cheerful and optimistic when a dog is in love with you.  The faith they show in you sometimes restores your faith in humanity.

Okay enough philosophy.

Getting a bit more specific , I read this article on Pune mirror which set my thoughts in motion. It was about the increasingly violent behavior of stray dogs in Pune and how they are disturbing the lives of civilians and even killing rare species for their meals. So , the paper feels that dog catchers are right in ‘catching and putting an end to the dog menace’ .

I definitely agree that Rabies is a scary disease but animal cruelty is an uglier one.

The dogs should definitely be vaccinated for their and our own good. But dogs don’t bite for no reason . Yes , there are some mad dogs like there are a few mad human beings loitering  this world. Provocation is a 2 way street. Dogs don’t generally enjoy biting humans for fun – it is usually the other way around . We like torturing them by throwing stones and even imitating them . This attitude must be changed . Children from a ripe age must be taught that dogs and other animals deserve the same treatment as the so called ‘superior’ humans.

Okay getting preachy again. All I wanna say is that people should stop this blind paranoia of hating animals , without even attempting to love. For love is always more natural than hate and if we believe otherwise we are fundamentally flawed in nature .

P.S – Have a pet.

P.S . S – I am turning a complete vegetarian after this post. 

Photo credits - Yajur Jayaprakash

Yours

Semi 

Law : my dream

This is one post of mine which made me realize how much I love law. Hope it convinces and wins you over too <3 

The world is a playground for the young ones. I have a cousin who solemnly resolved to be a chef when he was six years old , a police officer when he was 10 and currently he dreams of being an astrophysicist. Choosing one's career is never easy and I have friends who have finished their schooling and still have no idea about what they want to become or want to do with their lives.

However, thankfully I was never allowed the luxury of indecision by my mother (who works in a school and thus is quite knowledgeable about the workings of a student's mind) .I had to choose my career by the time i was in eight grade, so that I could plan for the road ahead.

I picked law.

The books you read , shape your personality. While we are all proud of the non fiction and the 'serious' books we read, it is the fictional stories which silently leave their mark in our lives. So naturally, when we read the Enid Blyton classics like 'secret seven' and 'famous five' - we all want to be detectives. Surely how tough will it be to catch smugglers hiding in islands and find treasure buried under moors?

Then we mature. We get lucky and lay our hands on one Erle Stanley Gardener's many 'Perry mason' novels. Courtroom drama at its best. Fighting for your wrongly vindicated innocent clients can never bring one unhappiness. And we find out that lawyers are the real deal. Detective like Paul drake can only uncover the facts and policemen like sergeant Holcombe can only piece together the facts. However, lawyers are the ones who go to the sacrilegious courts and fight for justice and prove what really happened. They are the messengers of social, economic and political justice.

However we get refuted with logic. Perry mason at the end of the day was a peerless hero, he was larger than life and sadly our careers are limited within the constraints of reality and practicality. Then we get even luckier and read John Grisham. Who said lawyers were gods? They have their flaws too and are also equally oppressed by the system as everyone else.

We learn that from books like the firm and the partner that beating the system is easier than following it - especially when everyone is doing the wrong thing. Yet, we see the protagonist finally overcome all odds and succeed. That tells us there is always a way, no matter what everyone else tries to make us believe. Steve Martini's 'prime witness' a lesser known book and it inspire me the most. While all the books showed how a big problem can be easily solved, this owned showed how a seemingly simple one can in fact be so tough to solve. This told me there will be a dull moment when you are doing something you love.

From all these books i derived the biggest sources of inspiration for law. But, this mad worship of books is not the only reason foe me to choose law. One thing sociology teaches us is that 'no event, how much ever it looks so -is simple.' Many factors coalesce to form a phenomenon.

Law requires speaking skills. While I can chat for hours on the phone with my friends it is infinitely more difficult to speak on stage regarding an issue. So taking law was above all a daring step to conquer my fear of public speaking. While many laughed at my decision for the same reason, I find it a matter of pride that I chose to convert my weakness to strength. Participating in Mock parliaments, class debates, school dramatics club has in fact boosted my confidence to speak. 

Blogging has brought me in contact with people all over the world and opened my previously blind eyes to all the burning issues, that is savaging our beautiful world. While my blog 'Semi's stories and sharings' is certainly not a formal forum, it has been a great learning experience for me - where I have written various genres, about different points of view and incidents. It has certainly reinforced my desire to work in a profession which is relevant to today's society and problems.

Convinced that law is my destiny, I chose to take up humanities stream for my high school. It is rather a rare branch to take up in my state - if not in my country and I am happy that I did take up the subjects I did. I found History, Psychology, sociology and economics very relevant and interesting

. History taught me about all the functioning systems of previous centuries. The norms and values of every era are very different and the one thing I learnt was that institutions which have been agreed upon and which fit the current context need to be upheld no matter what. And any defiance leads to war or destruction of entire empires and dynasties. In this context, upholding democracy through law - our generation's distinct system, must be upheld no matter what.

Economics elaborated on the pressing matters of a capitalistic economy - matters which desperately need to be looked into and which has great scope. The most important examples being Inclusive Growth and Income inequality. Psychology informed about the contemporary problems that influence our psyche and sociology informs us about the historic and structural factors that determine our lifestyle and opportunities.

Whatever I learnt these two years in school has fueled my passion to become a lawyer. And I sincerely hope that this statement of purpose comes across to you as genuine and from the heart.

xxx being one of the best colleges has been my lifelong dream and it will only incense my passion and motivate my efforts more, if I get a seat in your prestigious institution. Thank you .

Taking the Next Step

I have been trying to broach this subject for the past 21 days now. All previous attempts have seen me run back to the very wide and warm arms of my iPad (yes not the subtlest way to put across that I am an iPad owner now :P , but hey subtlety is at a  far distance from being called my forte) . 

Deviations aside , no other two words fill me with more venomous hatred and vehement opposition than the word 'grow up' . 

a) I love the way I am 

b) I don't want to take up responsibilities of any kind

c) I have been pretty much been in the same height for the past 2-4 years -_-

But sometimes life forces us in ways we would've never predicted and even people with names like 'semi' are asked to become full. So in this blogpost i am gonna tentatively try face my own demons through an imaginary 'conversation with god' or some supernatural force above / beyond us which makes us sort our problems. Or a shrink would do i guess . 

Something like this post - one of my favorites click HERE. 

G: How do you do child?

1/2: Ahem , who is this? What are you doing in my cool dream? 

G: I see that you are having extremely strange ones even for you and thought i could be of help! 

1/2: Oh helpful you are. But NO! I am quite happy with these dreams of self torture , scrubbing clean my room , planning the marriages of my friends who aren't sixteen yet , buttering up tonnes and tonnes of toast.....Okay I see your point.

G: So let me begin ( unveils a notepad and pen out of thin air.) So have you been lately having any major life experiences? 

1/2 : Up heaving my lovely routine for the forthcoming boards can be considered a major life event? Although i can assuredly say that, it is my bvm friends who are having problems coping. 

G: what is bvm?

1/2: Aren't you supposed to be all knowing? (cynically) 

G: Oh you earthling, you really think I would be interested in each and every detail of your life? I am like your prime minister , basically running everything on the top and occasionally and even randomly involving myself in individual cases - like yours . 

1/2 : (sighs) Fine. Bvm is my old school - bala vidya mandir. And the people studying there have decided that they are going to devote the whole of their lives to an exam for the next 3 months when they have already written it some 4 times!

G: All that is tangential to what we're discussing , what you're now engaging is known as indirect resistance in psychodynamic therapic terms. 

1/2: ...

G: You are running away from the problem!

1/2: (equally energetically)  that is because i don't know what the matter is!!

G: Think think , its all hidden inside your unconscious.

1/2: Yo Sigmund Freud , its called the unconscious for a reason

G: I see you want to take the long way round. I don't have much time. But I will try indulge your request. Lets begin with your symptoms . What has been up of late?

1/2 :Well  I don't feel much hungry nowadays. Even one meal a day seems tedious

G: (cross ticking something) Next?

1/2: I feel lost even amongst my current crop of friends..

G: Hmm...( suddenly procures a virtual facebook screen) Your privacy settings are extremely flimsy. oh look! That is a nice pic of you in a saree! 

1/2: (Slightly smiles) Yeah I know . 

G: This girl called Medha asked you to make it your 'dp' and you said yes.

1/2: yeah meds. So?...

G: (accusingly) Why haven't you done so yet?

1/2: (stammeringly) I.. I.. don't know. *restoring calm* I was bored that's why. 

God pens down something in his notepad comprehensively

G: Well the diagnosis is pretty clear and obvious. I am not going to search for any more corroborative evidence...

1/2 : PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY WILL YOU!

G: unsurprisingly ,a couple of factors have coalesced to cause this. First of all admit that you are tensed about your board exams , at the end of the day , it is the single most important exam of your life which is going to determine the college which will in turn affect your material life chances and that of your children's.

1/2: only after Clat. Oops... the common law entrance exams.

G : (continuing) only after the clat. And when you were saying that your friends are worrying excessively , you were merely projecting your emotions on to your friends

1/2: They are the ones living without tv.

G.: Well that is your another ego defence. While they are taking the sensible step , you are doing what is known as reaction formation.

1/2: what's that?

G: Indulging in interests opposite of what you seek. like for example - sexually energetic men engaging men involving themselves actively in religion

1/2: No kidding

G: Hey I was merely quoting your 12th standard psychology text book. 

1/2: Go on 

G: Where was I? oh yes. Then i saw your photos and everything became pretty clear to me. You are out there in an endeavor not to grow up.

1/2: Excuse me? 

G: You simply do not want to grow up. You refuse to put up a sari as your profile picture ; even though you know it is the natural / cool thing to do :P You dream of scrubbing floors - doing some semblance of responsible house work - that is your unconscious struggling with the idea of work . Buttering toast by tonnes is doing work  for the whole family and planning marriages as you can see is simply planning marriages :) 

1/2 : Wow , Sherlock Holmes .

G: Have you gathered enough insight? Or you think I haven't worked through quite enough?

1/2: (quietly ) I see sense. ( Then progressively becomes more emotive) mom... YEs AMMA!! You think I should take the clothes from outside , fold it AND keep them in their places!!I do NOT WANT to . What is wrong with that? What is  wrong with a female not doing housework? It is my wish. Just because you want me to ; doesn't mean I have to. poi saavu 

* and she breaks down crying* ( after a while)

G: Now then then , that was more successful than i thought it be! A whole year's worth of therapy within a night ( he certainly looks pleased with himself) 

1/2 : You have caused more problems than solved it

G: My job wasn't to solve your problem ; it is for you to. I didn't create you for nothing, earthling! ( he says not unkindly) You seemed befuddled with too many interpretations , so i decided to help this once. Next time you go to a psychologist and pay fees. 

1/2: But what do i do now? 

G: Well certainly take the next step. Acknowledge who you are and that you can't be the same all the time, 

1/2: What's wrong with not wearing a sari? ( combatively again)  

G: What's wrong in publicly acknowledging that you are proud of wearing one?

1/2: I didn't post it on a public forum without being proud.

G: You were certainly embarrassed to make it your profile picture. Take the next step kid. And you know helping with the housework is your duty too. Leave aside male/female distinctions. You need to arm yourself with sustenance strategies to survive college.

1/2: Aah College....

G: That will be the next next step. You aren't ready yet , cya later kid!

1/2: one doubt

G: Yep

1/2: Why me?

G: I am you. anbe sivam.

She woke up a while later and remembered the whole dream and decided that the weirdness quotient was  definitely only increasing. She wrote down the whole conversation before the whole dream became only 'anbe sivam' in her memory. 

Hoping to inspire if not perspire

Semi

Existential Anxiety

Its true.
I have not blogged in a 'while'
and that while has been one big blue whale of a time :P

Its true .
I have exams all the time now.
Yet I spend more time on facebook
than i do to annoy the life outta my brother.

Its true.
This can never qualify to be a poem ,
it has no rhyme scheme
or a complex theme .

Yet its true
that my blog has become a mere vegetable ,
a fruitful retrospection
to be pickled from the upcoming disaster of time.

Disclaimer - Views totally attributed to harmful effects of psychology.

okay :P I went a bit overboard there. Please be a bit kind upon me as I'm a bit scratchy, as its been a while. Yet I'm back, as the itch to write is intolerable. In the past many months , I did try writing. But the problem is/was, I really didn't know what to write about.
Everyone runs out of juice and one simply can't be creative when they are being sapped out regularly of their life through examinations. No , don't worry . I won't crib about exams here too. At least i'l try not to.

So lets move on to something even more depressing. Or at least something which looks superficially so. The end of school life . This is the time of the year, when saying bye bye to school happens. However, it is quite sad when all the crying and emotional catharsis is followed by regular visits to school in the form of exams , special classes and more exams , lol .

Yet is quite a 'life event' in an otherwise drab year. eleventh is any day more fun . why can't twelfth be like eleventh? -_-  okay this topic is so boring i don't even want to continue writing on it. God! Maybe this is how a dying blog feels like. Free association and Freud ftw \m/

Conversations have become so structured that i can even predict it before it begins. unfairness of timetable , teachers , school , education system check. Portions , doubts , bitching about subjects/chapters check. Status quo is such that deep introspection on each others subjects seems almost attractive. I met this old friend after a very long time . And she ended up discussing about the structure of the DNA *facepalm*

However howmuchever cool we act on the outside ( yes it is an ego defence we put up. In fact , according to Freud every way we behave is an ego defence ,everything we think is sexual and ever one of us are disturbed. So you really can't blame me for my disillusionment)  deep down inside we are all kutti paapas (small children) who do not want school to end.

While some of us express it very openly , crying our lungs out , others like to maintain that they are the least bit affected and are eagerly awaiting college. This maybe true , but like everything else in life , only partly. There can be no exceptions to this rule. Homo Sapiens fear change more than anything else. That is why old people don't like us sticking to our gadgets ( again only partly xP) and we don't like leaving a system which has been inbred in us for 14 years of our life. Thinking about it , the next generation will find it harder. They seem to be going to school the moment they've learnt to walk. Poor kids -_-

On top of all this , like an icing on the cake ( subtle reference = I may end this post soon yay!) while trying to  enjoy my over earned sleep. Morbid , intrusive thoughts keep popping up :'(  . Too much existential knowledge is never good - only exceptions is for the religious leaders and thinkers i guess . However i have no plans to become a sankarachariyar anytime soon . SO IT IS VERY ANNOYING. Questions like Why do we exist? what is the purpose of life? What will happen if i fail an exam? What is the point of money , grades , job , family , marriage , retirement etc etc? If  the answer is  'happiness', why shouldn't i take the easier way - that too when i have one , ie, laze around? Why should everyone perform some function in the society? Why can't we just sit at home? And if you're staying at home , why should you be a 'house wife' ? Why is not considered right to do NOTHING? Doing nothing seems very attractive. Why at this rate I can become a sanyasi. Semi baba xD but no I am too self indulging and 'pleasure principle' oriented to be one. But again who said i can't be both? xD and who said such people aren't both? Google 'reaction formation' .

Ishouldgosleep after performing relaxation procedures and cognitive and behavior techniques at least.

Sorry i wrote for myself . lol i sound like Randy pausch . There i go again -.-

THrow your textbooks somewhere faraway ( yet in a searchable distance :P )  after an exam.

Ta Ta Bye Bye 

Quoting the truth

"Whatever happens , life must go on" 

My heart will go on and on <3 :*

There are a million quotes decorating all the languages. Yet i choose this one to start my post ; this is a very special post for me , and i am saying this before even writing it .Developing the 'seventh sense*' i guess. Firstly , the quote is awesome  because it is quite simply the truth. And truth is what this post is gonna be all about. Also , (forgive my awestruck -ness  ) This line was delivered by 'daddy' surya to son surya in vaarnam aayiram :P Surya surya everywhere <3 [ Maattrraann is releasing this friday , don't miss it! ]

* - hope the surya fans go the 7am arivu reference xD

There lies the book , which cooly changed my life :P 

Moving on to the actual topic , I am going to talk about this book i picked a while back ; which happened to change my life or atleast how i look at thinks quite remarkably. ( please don't sigh already) It is the " Life of Mahatma Gandhi " by Louis Fischer  - wohoo! I think Gandhi is the first Indian name which auto correct didn't mark in red for me. This book as the title suggests is about the father of our nation and it gave me a rough idea why he was called 'bapu' . Apart from  just mentioning the events which featured in his rather dynamic life this books gives us an understanding of the gandhian principles of Satyagraha and ahimsa . Simply put as truth and love.

Some ppl are just too cool pa 

Being the lucky person i am , I've got this golden opportunity to study history in my higher classes. And very recently we finished covering a lesson devoted to Gandhiji. And to my sad surprise , most of my friends found it cool to mock and criticize him as a person and his methods. I am nowhere near being called his blind follower , but having got the chance to read some real content about him , I want to clear some common  misconceptions and put forth some oft asked questions about him here.

Disclaimer - These are my own set of views on Gandhi and I totally welcome open debate.

First charge - He delayed our independence. 
When he first came into the fray of Independence struggle , our nation was in desperate need and search for a single leader who could represent the masses. Yes ,he was intermediary caste , hindu , middle class and a lawyer. Yet , the way he lived and practiced what he preached , inspired millions. And proved a point which desperately needed proving - caste and class doesn't determine how you live and shape your lives , it is your own actions that speak for you.
The people flocked to him ,seeing his actions. His principles were simple and unique. Speak the truth and love everyone. He was a humanist by nature. He did not want violence. Human lives were too precious to be killed and toyed with in the name of war and mutiny. All humans were well , basically human. Life of an European brother or African brother wasn't more important than that of an Asian , Indian one. Yes , there was right and there was wrong , but we are no ones to judge or kill in people in the name of god. He followed the same theory with hindus , muslims or parsis.

He really wouldn't have fought against the British rule if they were fair and just. He would have approved the new Indian rule after the independence only if it was following the righteous path to resolve the riots. His methods were done in a way not to produce immediate results , but to actually change the very structure of Indian society , which we all know is a product of thousands of years of culture and civilization. So what he achieved in the years he did was what critics should call a monumental success , what is 40 years in the thousands of years of Indian civilization and almost two centuries of British rule?
And ponder upon this. If we had overthrown the British as we wanted to in the 1920s or the 30s , would it have granted the smooth functioning of the new government? Surely the replacement of British in the top wouldn't have ended all the problems lol We had to work from the wide bottom and that's what Gandhi did.
He gave hope , inspiration and faith to millions and before attaining independence in the material sense , most Indians started behaving like their land belonged to them. And that is what was required i think.

Father of the nation ; wasn't exactly the best father to his own sons 

Almost everyone who tried to dissuade me from supporting the Mahatma quoted his personal life as a means to reduce his reputation.
a) Where did they get these intimated details about his personal life? His autobiography of course. He must first be appreciated for daring to accept the truth.
b) He is not a mahatma of course. He never liked the title Rabindranath Tagore crowned him with . He was very much aware of his own flaws and took upon self reflexivity rather seriously. And surely a title can't be given that much importance. Don't tell me you would sit and ponder upon why rajini is the 'superstar' . You just don't.
c) What he did in his personal life is private and called personal for a reason. You just cannot judge someone with that . It is wrong. And cheap
d) surely what is right and wrong in parenting - is very subjective. We must also take into account the context of the period he lived in .

Well that is my modest attempt to defend Gandhi. As i said - open to debates. I will put across my points , you put across yours. Surely no harm can be done.

As i said before , there are two lessons to learn from his life and perspectives.

• Truth
• Love

Truth - Lets face it. We all lie too many times a day - sometimes consciously and sometimes almost unconsciously. We are all liable to lie at some point if not at this point. Still truth is always safer , stronger and a more powerful weapon. That is why the most experienced liars most often mix a large amount of truth with a little amount of  realistic lies. Some wisecracks like "Truth is stranger than the fiction " , "her story was crazy enough to be true" tells us the queer status quo of things. Why lie when you have the truth beside you? :) 

About 15,250,000,000 results (0.22 seconds)

Love - Ahimsa   

Blimey me! I could write about this word all day. Basically developed by the jain school of thought , Ahimsa refers to non injury to living and non living things. Especially humans , animals , plants and insects. Like Jesus says show your left cheek after the right one is done.  Quite impractical one may think. But it is all the more useful in today's democracy. 

The current scenario of Anna Hazare ' fast against corruption and the Jal satyagraha against various nuclear plant and dam projects are deserving examples. The African continent where Gandhi first experimented with his unique methods is in shambles now. Nelson Mandela is an inspiring story. But the rest of the region there and the 'arab springs' seem to lose any semblance of humanity in the name of violence. For peace to be restored , love for the fellow being must be catered to. 

Talking about animals and love - I have a dog for a pet now!! Surely that is a big turning point in someone's life . More specially so , if the someone hated aesop fables for the mere fact that it was about animals . Well laika entered my life through the backyard of my house and its persistence to not leave our place. Along with the winning combination of a dog wanting brother ( he has been begging for one since the time he started learning how to talk i guess) and

Hi humans. 

 Who said mongrels are not cute? :O <3 

and yes its exactly a week after Gandhi Jayanthi.
semi

And we blog and blog and blog!

Not sleeping exactly 

After a rather romantic surprise early last month stoopid semi went off to hibernate -_- It is perfectly alright to think so beCAUSEE ------------------------------- It is the truth :P However you should empathize or at least sympathize with her plight. She was working her socks off , for her first terms exams , which doesn't matter in anyway to the boards.
But her question is this. Why should the boards matter? Many of you may feel that that the answer is quite simple  . Board exams = marks = good college = good job = good life. Too simple , too easy. Call me a non conformist or for that matter, a communist , For what difference does that actually make to you?  But what I feel is this :

"Education is about learning for your intrinsic needs , which in the process satisfy your extrinsic ones " 

Oh I do sound like a thinker :P
What we study should actually interest and make sense to us and let us apply it in daily life. And it should satisfy our desire to understand what we are studying. C'mon guys , even the person who opens the book in the last minute would love to know what the page actually means , sure he ends up mugging and reciprocating it in the paper . But no one would shy away from the chance to run away from understanding something , when they have the choice. Would they?

And like  spidey says We always have a choice!

And whatever we hereby learn should help us get marks. It should not be the other way round. I see my teachers teach and some of them are so obsessed about what questions they ask in boards , how your answers should match the answer key of the board examiners , how your handwriting should appeal to the board examiner etc etc etc.
Yes , presentation is good. But should all the learning i get be shaped so that it fetches me the maximum marks . I prefer not. Studying that way , will not allow me to read the para in the front and the back which may matter more in my comprehension of a passage than the para itself.

Hope you can make sense outta that senseless rant , which is done with an evergrowing hatred for examinations.

Now i feel selfish and rather sorry for ranting . However as my delete key is not co operating , I have decided to continue. But this time into more pleasant matters.

Whats been up off late?
ICC WORLD T20 CUP ~ Yes , the ipl is more attractive and champions league is literally the clash of the titans yet nothing beats an intense Ind vs pak match or an Aus vs windies or Aus vs eng match (ashes much? ) We are in the super eight stages now and Group A consisting of  Australia , India , Pakistan and South Africa seems very tight!

Yuvi the man <3 

While India was trashed by Australia( by 9 wickets) - thanks to Watson . It inflicted a 8 wicket loss on pakistan xD  It is a popular saying that the pak ppl lose to everyone but the indians . However , yesterday prove that the trend has reversed , pakistanis win with everyone ( including the all mighty S.Africans ) but Indians!! They lost the battle mentally , we could see by the way mohammed hafeez and shoaib malik got out!!
India put to rest all qualms about its team composition , which really didn't need have been so severely by the critics. Then again the media is news crazy and the people are cricket crazy. Dhoni proved that he is most comfortable with 7 batsmen 4 bowlers . And we really don't have the bowling resources to go all the way into the competition. Hope we spin ourselves to victory .


MAD about 39 clues!! 
Jesss. After reading too many slow paced classics , its time to put on the safety belt and get ready for this roller coaster ride! Expect no literary richness or awesomely complex sentence formations , What you'll get is non stop action. BANG BANG BOOM.
Amy and Dan are orphans with a rich grandmother. When she dies they expect a grand inheritance instead they are informed that their family - the cahills are one of the most powerful lineages of this century and they could either hop on a clue hunt for the greatest treasure of the world or opt out for a million bucks! They obviously choose the more exciting part.
But ouch , their  aunt decides to put them in the foster care and the social services are after them. Off with their cool au pair / babysitter Nellie they travel on this thrilling quest all around the world with powerful enemy cum relatives like the rich kabras popular jonah intelligent alaistair oh and cunning irina and strong holts close behind their heels.
From america to fance to vienna and venice the locales thrill us. Third book even takes us to Japan! surely this is one heck of a series and lets all read all the nine books and enjoy :)

Lets add some more colour to our post :)
The movies of the month!

While Barfi! has wowed everyone with its beauty and subtlety heroine has shocked and bored everyone with its sleaziness and predictable scandals . However as i haven't watched both the movies , I can't really comment upon them much.  ( Then y did u even write abt it? :P Eye candy anyone?)

Looks like the tamil film Thandavam has interested everyone with its style and intelligence. Full marks to chiyaan vikram for pulling of another great performance! I will comment more elaborately on this film , when i finish watching it tomorrow!!

I know that this post is as random as it gets and is a desperate attempt to just write something . However , i have a promise to make . I am surprisingly free this month and I intent to write about one of the following at least : -

• next part of love story
• The stalker story
• Something on current affairs 
• club le mubbu - girls style :P 

I know this is pretty vague. But this must be one of the bigger promises I've made in my life :P Not a very reliable person , I am . 

AND the craziest song to go viral. Gangnam style \m/ <3

evergreen classic - which i stumbled upon only recently

and an absolutely disgusting copy of slim shady. Eminem fans please spam and kill this video!!

Semi